That guy is as quick as current day Ray Lewis.
"Every season of The Wire is like a whole new show, with another angle on life in 21st century America," said Simon, "But we always return to Baltimore, and this was our greatest season yet: a larger-than-life NFL tale built around a character I've been developing since way back in 1996."
Simon credited his writing staff, his go-to sixth season director Steve Sabol (who passed away in September), and The Wire star Idris Elba for making this season's central "Ray Lewis" story arc so memorable.
"Viewers can't get emotionally invested in whole football teams, and certainly not a football team poached from Cleveland," said Simon. "Which is why we used one man to depict the cult of American sports, and American society itself, writ large in a linebacker who pretends he's in Gladiator before every game."
Critics say Simon built the most fascinating ongoing TV project ever for Season 6, incorporating reality TV production techniques, real-life news coverage, and segments where Elba got "mic'd up" and went on the field during actual NFL games. It's such a lifelike creation that fan interest convinced the NFL to turn the fictional "Baltimore Ravens" franchise into an actual team for the 2013-2014 season.
"They're a team built on the shoulders of a magnetic millionaire muscleman, himself forged in the hedonistic baptismal fires of 'The U'," said Simon. "Which is why Ray is my best anti-hero since McNulty, and why 'The Peacemaker' is one of the greatest television hours in the medium's history."
Simon's "The Peacemaker" was an instant classic The Wire episode from 2000, where Lewis's character [SPOILERS] accepts an obstruction of justice conviction for his morally ambiguous role in two inner city stabbing deaths. Lewis then leads the Ravens to a championship and cements his athletic legacy with a Super Bowl MVP award, but still gets snubbed out of a postgame invite to Disneyland. Ray then spends the next 13 years toiling to rebuild his reputation, finally succeeding in the season's penultimate episode "The Visa Ad And The Little Girl".
Video Ray Lewis Anti-Tribute
He wasn't always God's Linebacker.
Picture That's So Baltimore Raven
Ray-Ray > Raven
Your move, Eli Manning.
Mmmmmm. Rice burrito.
If we're lucky, Terrell Suggs has a twin brother in Jerry Sandusky's prison.
"Eeek! Eeeeeek! It hurts. My army hurts! Give it kisses!" Lewis wailed on the sidelines on Sunday, eliciting eye rolls from his teammates and coaches.
"Oh, jeez. Here we go again," said head coach John Harbaugh. "Every day it's something with this delicate little flower. 'Coach, I'm tired.' 'Coach, my tummy-tum hurts.' 'Coach, I completely tore the triceps in my right arm.' Goddamit! Suck it up, you gaping vagina!"
Lewis' teammates say they're not surprised the linebacker would be out for the season with a hurt arm.
"I'm surprised he ever takes the field at all, the scared little bitch," said quarterback Joe Flacco. "In the locker room before every game he's always crying and whimpering in the corner: 'Guys! Did you see how big they are? Do you think they want to hurt us?' Pissing his pants. Calling his mom. The only thing that gets him on the field is us letting him do his little ballerina dance before every game."
The Browns are bad, but not that bad. Maybe.
Frustration with the NFL's replacement officials reached a fever pitch Sunday night when referee Carl Howard accidentally got in the way of a Joe Flacco pass in the end zone. Howard picked up the ball and then signaled for a touchdown, crediting himself with a key score in the Baltimore's 31-30 win.
Patriots' coach Bill Belichick immediately threw a challenge flag, but after a 17-minute conference with his fellow officials, Howard explained that the ruling on the field could not be challenged because Howard's forward progress was stopped at the time he scored the touchdown.
"It's one thing for them to not understand the rules," Belichick said. "But making up rules on the spot rules that allow THEM to score touchdowns is insane."
Howard normally works as a manager at a local Hardee's and serves as a volunteer referee for a pee-wee league. This was just his third NFL game, and he admitted that the nuances of the league's complex rulebook have been slow to come.
Howard's touchdown was the most egregious mistake on a night that saw the Patriots flagged twice for "excessive running" and the Ravens have a field goal waved off due to "illegal hands to the hips".