Filed Under » Baltimore Ravens

In wake of the increasingly excessive, round-the-clock coverage of Ray Lewis' retirement, career, and legacy, the Baltimore Ravens have decided to cut ties with the 17 year veteran as his presence has now been deemed a distraction to the team.

"It was a tough decision, but the right one," said coach John Harbaugh. "Don't get me wrong, we love the guy and wish him well in his future endeavors, but we've got a big game coming up and need our focus on San Fran."

Harbaugh went on to mention how Lewis was a great teammate and only ever did what was asked of him.

"Ray's a champ. I mean, what can I say about Ray that hasn't already been said hundreds of times these past few weeks? But that's exactly why we are where we are right now. We are a team, not just one player."

Lewis, the 13-time Pro Bowler and seven-time First-Team All-Pro middle linebacker, spent his entire 17-year career in Baltimore, spanning a team record 227 games, but has just one lone Super Bowl appearance to show for it.

"And that's why he should understand the importance of this situation more than anybody; he knows how hard it is to get to one of these things," continued Harbaugh. "You don't wanna mess it up."

God, the creator of everything, made a rare appearance today when he descended to a hill in suburban Baltimore for a hastily arranged press conference.

"I just want to go on record as saying I am not in any way working with Ray Lewis," said The Almighty. "He keeps talking about how I'm getting him and the Ravens wins, and that couldn't be further from the truth. I am not helping the Ravens win and I'm definitely not helping Ray Lewis win."

God admitted that he did create Ray Lewis, but has had very little contact with the linebacker since then.

"I'm kind of a live and let live Dude, you know?" said God. "I step in here and there for big stuff, but other than that it's up to you all to live your lives. But this dancing guy keeps going on and on about how I am winning his team games. Saying he's praying to Me and getting My power for his teammates. Enough is enough. He's out there pretending we're good friends and that we talk all the time. No. He's a liar."

Lewis began crying upon hearing God's announcement.

"Yes! Yes, God! Yes, Holy Jesus! You challenge me with your denials!" Lewis weeped, swaying and beginning to dance. "You want me to prove myself to you again, Holy God! I will arm myself with your truth and your victory."

"Oh, God, here we go again," said God. "This is what I'm talking about. I have nothing to do with this guy. I just want to make that clear. Okay? If the Ravens win the Super Bowl or don't win the Super Bowl, I'm in no way involved."

Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco said today that his team has a decided advantage in their divisional playoff game at Denver because Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning will be playing with intense nerves.

"I don't mean to sound boastful, but facts are facts," said Flacco. "Peyton Manning is going to look across the sidelines and see Joe Flacco standing there and realize he's probably going to have to play the best game of his life, and even that might not be enough to win. I imagine it will be very intimidating for him."

Flacco, the 12th highest rated passer in the league this year, who completed less than 60-percent of his passes for the second year in a row, said before the season that he sees himself as the best quarterback in the league. That belief has only been strengthened.

"Who has accomplished what I have in this league?" said Flacco. "Sure, sure. The critics are always going to mention guys who have gotten to Super Bowls or won Super Bowl or put up big stats, or guys who have gotten to a Super Bowl and won Super Bowls and put up big stats, but those are all lazy, conventional ways to measure quarterbacks. People who know football, who know greatness, like me and my parents and coach Harbaugh, recognize how good I really am."

Manning said that playing Flacco will indeed present some unique challenges.