These voters are ELITE.
"We're in talks with well over a thousand players who are considering it," says Ayanbadejo. "There are 1,692 players being talked to right now and they're trying to be organized so they can come out on Wednesday together. It would make a major splash and take the pressure off one guy. It would be a monumental day if almost everyone in the NFL came out together."
The statement immediately led to debate online over who the four heterosexual NFL players might be.
While Ayanbadejo said it is "99.999-percent certain" that 1,692 players will come out as gay on Wednesday morning, he has also built up a track record of making statements he later has to back away from. But he insists this time it's different.
"The only thing some players have reservations about is if them coming out would make things too hard on the four non-gay players," he said. "We don't want them to feel as though they don't belong because they are straight."
Fleeing a double murder ZING!
That is an ugly team.
"Our offseason obviously hasn't gone exactly as we might have hoped," said general manager Ozzie Newsome, while refusing to comment on the Flacco rumors. "So we have to see what options are out there for us, as we need 53 players to fill a roster and the last time I checked we had six."
The Ravens knew they would lose linebacker Ray Lewis to retirement, but since he danced off the scene the team has also lost its starting center, its best receiver, two additional starting linebackers and a starting safety with more players expected to jump ship in the coming days.
Bears general manager Phil Emery says he received a call from Newsome this morning offering Flacco, "an elite quarterback," in exchange for "all of your defensive players, Brandon Marshall and your top three picks in this year's draft."
He'll only get sadder when they draft Manti Te'o.
News Joe Flacco Asks for Entire Contract to be Given in Signing Bonus: "In case I, you know, start sucking again"
"Joe is concerned, and I would say understandably so, that he is going to return to being the quarterback he was for the past five years," said Joe Linta, Flacco's agent. "He feels like he stepped in something and that it for some reason stuck to his shoe for a whole month. And now if, or possibly when, he comes out and starts being an average quarterback again, they'll cut him long before he gets anything close to $120 million."
Friends and teammates of Flacco's say he has been stressed out over the contract negotiations, saying things like "I don't know how long I can keep this up," and "I feel like it all might have just been a big fluke," and "honestly, I was just throwing the ball up in the air as far as I could and people were catching it. My own team. Next thing I knew we had a Super Bowl trophy. I think I might be screwed now."
"I love Baltimore and I love the Ravens," said Brianna Barker, a Baltimore resident. "But it sure was difficult to root for this team the past 13 years with someone like Ray Lewis on the team. What an awful person. What a phony. We feel like a cloud has been lifted with him retiring. I don't feel dirty being a Ravens fan anymore. I don't have any moral hangups about being a Ravens fan anymore. None of us do. And we're all out here today to celebrate that."
The dancing, glory-hogging Lewis has unfortunately been the face of the franchise since he was drafted in the team's first draft in 1996 and even more so since he was involved in a double murder in 2000.
"Think about it: this franchise hasn't played one game, not one game, without having Ray Lewis on the roster," said head coach John Harbaugh. "We are entering a new era here. An era in which no one has to try to defend that guy anymore. Ravens fans don't always have to be on the defensive anymore. They don't have to live in shame. That's why you can see the happiness on the faces of everyone who came out today. I know I'm much prouder to be a Raven today than I ever was before."
Lewis was part of the parade that wound its way through the city's downtown streets and concluded just outside the city limits where Lewis was dropped off. The caravan then sped back to M&T Bank Stadium to change the locks.
Lack of production, fumbles, embarrassment. Maybe Ray Rice and Joe Flacco swapped bodies for the postseason.