Filed Under » Atlanta Thrashers

Atlanta resident Jeff Peterson placed a call to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution last night asking if anyone knew of the whereabouts of the Thrashers, by most accounts becoming the first local to notice that the NHL team had moved to Winnipeg.

"I was watching SportsCenter and they showed a hockey highlight and suddenly I had this weird feeling, like I had lost my keys or something," said Peterson. "After an hour or so, I realized what it was: I hadn't seen or heard of the Trackers in months!"

Peterson worked part-time as the Thrashers mascot, Thrash, for the last 11 years.

"I honestly didn't notice anything until just now," he said. "And, now that I think about it, I haven't gotten a paycheck in a while. But I went to the arena today to investigate further and I didn't notice a difference in the crowd. I think that's why their move has slipped under the radar. And also because the vast majority of Atlanta residents never even knew that the Tacklers existed. I guess you could say I was their one diehard, contractually."

With the Atlanta Thrashers on their way out of town and headed to Winnipeg, Atlanta city officials have contacted Winnipeg officials to gauge their interest in taking some of their other teams off their hands, as well.

"We have more than just a hockey team we don't want," Atlanta mayor Kasim Reed wrote in a letter to Winnipeg mayor Sam Katz. "The Hawks, for example. We could give a crap about them and they're actually not too bad. You should totally take them. The Thrashers might be lonely without them. What do you say?"

Mayor Reed continued on to also offer up the Braves and Falcons.

"Again, both are pretty good and both are yours if you want them," wrote Reed. "I know you Canadians aren't into baseball too much, but you all made us have hockey teams twice, so it's only fair that you take the Braves for a while. Do you think your people would want to do the Tomahawk Chop? Most people think it's incredibly annoying, but doing it is really the only thing we Atlantans like about professional sports."

During their first practice today with newly-signed teammate Chris Chelios, Atlanta Thrashers teammates expressed feelings of embarrassment over the fatherly passing style of the 48-year-old veteran defenseman.

"I know he means well, but his passes are so soft. Almost effeminate," said 22-year-old right wing Bryan Little. "And then he spends all this time telling us that his way of passing is just as good and effective as the way we do it, more effective even."

Added Little: "It's so humiliating."

Team sources who attended practice say several Alanta players avoidedChelios's passes throughout the two hours on the ice. Thrashers teammates confirmed the reports, claiming they feared being mocked by the rest of the NHL. Several Thrashers players could be seen using several different strategies of disassociating themselves fromChelios, including skating in a huddled group on the other side of the blue line, hanging out behind the far net, and pretending to not be able to hear him on the bench.

Additionally, the players feared scoring on a pass fromChelioswould lead him into one of his outdated celebratory dances — his favorites being The Macarena and wild gyrations to "Who Let The Dogs Out?".

"The worst is when he tries to act cool or be funny when he passes," said center Rich Peverley. "He has no idea how stupid he looks, and I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself. He shouldn't be out here with us. I guess he doesn't have any friends his own age. I hope I'm not like that when I'm old."

Despite the obvious awkwardness in how the Thrashers deal with Chelios,the vet has shown his teammates unconditional support no matter how much they rebel, loudly yelling "You can do it!" and "I believe in you!" from the bench. According to players, this makes them feel even more embarrassed.

ThoughChelioswas not invited out for drinks with the rest of the Thrashers after practice, he offered everyone on the team a ride home in his Ford Taurus, no matter how late they were out.