Breaking: Andy Reid's chair.
"We had a bad season but we still think we are close to being a Super Bowl contender," said Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie. "You look around at the coaches available for someone that has a track record of success and the name that keeps popping up is Andy Reid."
Reid say he is excited about the opportunity with the Eagles.
"I am very familiar with that team and that organization and I think they have potential," said Reid. "I think young Nick Foles has a future at quarterback, they have lots of talent at the offensive skill positions, and the offensive line should be better if healthy. The defense has issues, but I know an wide receivers coach who I think would make a great defensive coordinator."
Taylor Swift grew up near Philadelphia, which explains her underlying sadness.
They can drive it to San Diego when he gets the Chargers job.
Don't fall for it. He's one of those performers who is always on a supposed farewell tour.
He's the Pillsbury Dough Coach.
"Losing your job comes with the territory in the NFL," said Reid. "But in my case, the logistics do cause some additional worries. For example, I'd want to make a dignified exit if I lose my job, but what if I get stuck in the door frame? It's happened to me before frequently, in fact, and it can be pretty embarrassing."
Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie admitted that Reid's size has helped him stay employed in the past.
"There are times before that I wanted to can him," said Lurie. "After we went 6-10 in 2005 and when we went 8-8 in 2007, in particular. But this franchise invested so much money on various lifts, scooters, specially-made chairs and furniture, floor reinforcement, doorway and hallway widening and the like to accommodate Andy's girth that it made sense to stick with him. But his time may be running out."
Yet while acknowledging that his team has played below expectations this season, Reid said his long-term situation in Philadelphia is ultimately his decision.
"What if I just sit in my desk recliner in my office and refuse to leave?" said Reid. "There's nothing they could do to get me out of there."
"At the end of the day, me being awful at what I am paid to do is on me," said Reid. "It might be easy to point the finger at someone else, but I'd probably even do that wrong."
Reid has failed to win a Super Bowl in his 13 seasons at the helm in Philadelphia, and has only led his team to one Super Bowl in nine playoff appearances. His offensive scheme, staff decisions, clock mismanagement and curious late-game decisions have routinely sabotaged the Eagles.
"It's almost mathematically impossible to go to one Super Bowl in nine tries. You know, there's a known football axiom about no one person winning or losing a game for a team," said Reid. "I am the exception that proves that rule. I can think of dozens of games that we would have won had I called in sick to work that day. I am truly dreadful."
Picture Andy Reid Was Quite Large at 13
Uniform pants size: husky.