At least his knees aren't the worst part of his body.
It's the worst Sixers thing since Shawn Bradley.
"I don't like using my parking brake because I don't want to wear it out, so I figured having this dude wedged under my tires would keep the car from rolling," said Bynum. "It was only for a couple minutes. I just wanted to get a Snapple."
Edna Sanchez, the elderly, wheelchair-bound woman that Bynum parked on, said she was wheeling through an empty handicap spot in order to get to her car, which was parked one spot over.
"Next thing I know, a car speeds up, slams on the brakes, backs up, points right at me, revs it's engine for a few seconds and then almost jumps right on top of me," Sanchez told an NBC-4 reporter while still under Bynum's car. "It was pretty upsetting. But then after he stepped on my face getting out of the car, I saw it was Bynum who parked on me. So I yelled: 'Go Lakers!'"
This is probably the best way for him to not get injured.
Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum says he feels 100-percent for Game 6 of the NBA Finals after having a substantial quantity of fluid drained from his penis last night in a procedure in the parking lot outside of a Santa Monica Cheseecake Factory.
"I wish I had this done before," said Bynum, sitting in his Escalade after the fluid was drained. "I feel amazing. My knee feels amazing. Everything feels amazing."
While Bynum's recent knee drainings were performed by Lakers team physician Dr. Steve Lombardo, the penis draining was conducted by Tara, a USC student who introduced herself to Bynum in the Cheesecake Factory bathroom hallway.
"Or maybe her name was Mandy and she goes to Pepperdine," said Bynum. "I can't remember. That could have been her friend. Either way, I got her cell number I put her name in my phone as 'Cheesecake Girl'. I think I'll give her a call later today. I'm feeling more fluid buildup."
Jenny, the UCLA student who did the procedure on Bynum, says she hopes her work enables Bynum to play better.
"I'm a huge Lakers fan and I want them to win!" she said. "That's why I've done the same procedure on Ron Artest, Luke Walton, Kobe and Adam Morrison."