Video Ms. Immoral Wants to Have Sex with Mr. Irrelevant
They could make sort of attractive, sort of athletic kids.
News Colts Waiting to Make Decision on No. 1 Pick Until Media Experts Release Their Final Prospect Rankings
"I know who I like at No. 1 — Andrew Luck," says Grigson. "But I'm just one person. I would be insane not to tap into the talent evaluation genius that is NFL draft experts in the media. It's not possible to just call yourself an 'expert' if you're really not one."
Grigson says he has spent most of his draft preparation reading various online mock drafts to get a good understanding of what he should do.
"I saw a mock draft on NFLDraftExplosion.net that had us taking a fullback out of Kent State in the 6th Round," says Grigson. "I never even heard of the guy. But now I wonder if he might be the right pick for us there. You know, if he's still available then."
Picture Colts Acting Like a Sassy Middle Schooler About No. 1 Pick
The Colts know they suck, but what are you?
News 2012 NFL Draft Class Preemptively Sues NFL for Brain Damage
"It's very likely that I will be a vegetable by the time I'm in my mid-40s," said Andrew Luck, the likely No. 1 overall pick. "In fact, my brain will probably be so inoperable that I, and my fellow draft picks, may forget to sue the NFL for our disabilities once our playing careers are over. So we wanted to get that out of the way now while our brains are still functioning."
Luck says he is also enjoying his last few months of being able to read, eat and drink without drooling, and having emotions other than rage and depression.
Video Worst 40 of the 2012 NFL Combine
He set a combine record by tripping in 0.74 seconds.
Opinion The 10 Players at Every NFL Combine
1. The Big, Disgusting Fatty
Half man, half Quadruple D breasts, he decided to show up to the NFL Combine in the worst shape of his life. For some reason, to the disgust of us all, the combine directors make him take his shirt off. Probably because the shirt he was wearing was covered in hoagie sauce.
How his career will end up: Wildly successful. After everyone stops retching over the sight of his naked torso, they'll remember that being morbidly obese is kind of a prerequisite for playing a lineman position in the NFL.
2. The Unexpectedly Slow Guy
All was going well for him. He had a great college football career. Won awards. Was respected by his teammates and coaches. Was thought to be an early round pick. But then … oh, god, it's almost too horrible to say … but then … his 40 time was 0.03 seconds slower than what is considered ideal for his position. You should go kill yourself, fella.
How his career will end up: After plummeting down the draft, he will be some team's mid-round "value pick" and — shock of all shocks — turn into a very solid professional football player. Although, there will be that one tackle he'll miss in Week 7 of his sixth season that was probably due to him being 0.03 seconds too slow.
