Video Soccer needs more scoring, less murdering
Throughout the world they call the sport "football." We call it "soccer." They also call this a "goal celebration." We call it "a violent and cold-blooded execution." (VIDEO)
Picture Unecessary Women's Trainer Procedure
That dude's totally throwing his tag down. That's his turf.
Video Ingenious Corner Kick
I bet he got all the orange slices he wanted after that game.
Video This soccer sideline reporter is not very good at his job
Hey, Americans are the ones who don't pay attention to soccer. Stop stealing our act! (VIDEO)
Video Soccer Reporter Not Paying Attention
I don't blame him. I wouldn't be paying attention either.
Picture Hot Girl Soccer Squad
If people want soccer to be big in America, this is the right way to go about it.
Video Tough Guys Sing Savage Garden
Would it be too much to ask for a little choreographed dancing?
News Richard Smith (Columbus, Ohio > Soccer)
RICHARD SMITH
COLUMBUS, OHIO > Soccer
At Saturday's Class-A state championship women's soccer game, Smith, 43, was seen in the stands in video footage of the game pulled by Columbus' WQLC-TV. Smith is a convicted rapist who skipped out on parole. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact Columbus Police or the Ohio State Police. Oh. McCluskey High beat South Shore Regional, 3-2, giving the Fightin' Hawks their third state title in five years. The winning goal came off the foot or Sarah Smith, Richard's niece.
News England, Algeria, Slovenia: How to Hate Them
The 2010 World Cup draw is set. The United States is in Group C with England, Algeria and Slovenia.
It's on the U.S. national team to beat these countries. But it's on us as a nation to hate these countries with everything we have. Here is some material you can use to tell these countries how much they suck.
Algeria
Hey, Algeria … about a quarter of your population lives on less than $2 a day. You're poor!
Hey, Algeria … you're president is namedAbdelaziz Bouteflika? Bouteflika. Sounds like a sexual harasser to me!
Hey, Algeria … rainfall in your country is fairly prevalent along the coast, but more sporadic inland. Ha-ha! Your weather is NOT temperate! And your vacations probably are often interrupted by rain!
Hey, Algeria … in your country homosexuality is illegal and punishable by imprisonment. Are you sure you're country's not named Alabamageria? ZING!
Hey, Algeria … you're Africa's second-largest country? Ha! Wait, since when is Africa not a country? Really, this is an honest question. We Americans are horrible at geography.
Slovenia
Hey, Slovenia … one of your primary industries is zinc smelting. The country who smelt it, dealt it!
Hey, Slovenia … your flag has three horizontal stripes. Where did you come up with that idea?
Hey, Slovenia … many of your towns are quite picturesque! Not very practical in a modern economy, now is it?
Hey, Slovenia … your plugs are British-style round plug attachments. Good luck getting your electronic equipment to work here without an adaptor!
Hey, Slovenia … your prime minister, Borut Pahor, isn't nearly as funny as one might have expected!
England
Hey, England … you're England!
Also:
There.
ROASTED!
News Elizabeth Lambert would have just punched this goalie in the face.
And, yes, it dawned on me this weekend that the infamous New Mexico enforcer must be related to Jack Lambert in some way. Perhaps she was grown from one of his loose teeth.
