USA fans all over the United States filed into bars early this morning to have a beer and cheer on their nation.
"I love the U.S.," said Jeff Smith, who watched the news at a lower Manhattan bar with some friends. "I've loved them ever since I was born here."
The crowd erupted early when CNN scrolled across the news that both the Dow Jones and the NASDAQ opened higher. But the cheering was quickly quieted when a live feed of oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico came on the screen. A group of English fans in the corner happily cheered and high-fived.
It was the same scene elsewhere. At a bar in Chicago, fans broke into chants of "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" on the news that a predator drone in Afghanistan had taken out a high-ranking al-Qaeda official and his family. Minutes later, the bar patrons erupted into boos when footage came on off a tornado that tore through Bilings, Montana.
One nervous U.S. fan at a bar in Atlanta nervously kept an eye on a TV set to BBC for news on Greece, admitting that while he was a U.S. fan, he had bet heavily on a turnaround for the Greek economy. In the same bar a group of Swiss fans sat off to the corner and politely cheered positive news for every country, while some French fans a few tables over smoked heavily and cursed at the television.
While all the U.S. fans rooted on the home team, the mixed results led to disagreements about how the nation could improve. For example, at a bar in St. Louis, a fistfight among a few drunk fans broke out when one fan booed the image of President Barack Obama and demanded he be fired and replaced with Sarah Palin.Other fans demanded the channel be switched to MSNBC or Fox News.
"The Fox announcers are always so negative," said a fan at a new bar in Austin, Texas. "It's like they want us to lose."
Most bars compromised by setting the televisions to CNN with the volume turned all the way down.
"I know some people disagree, but I think we've got a great guy leading us in Obama," said a fan at a bar in Seattle. "We just need better execution and effort from the citizens. Me included, I guess. Perhaps I shouldn't sit here every day watching the news."
Picture Vuvuzela Hero
In case you got tired of playing "Rock Band: World (Cup) Tour"
Picture Diego Maradona Snorting Blow
Suddenly, the incessant, wailing frenzy of horns makes complete sense
Picture North Korea Fan Sign
And their families expected them to return home alive. The day was full of surprises for everyone.
The U.S. National Team's second match of the 2010 World Cup featured a comeback from a 2-0 deficit and a disallowed game-winning goal on one of the worst referee calls of all-time.
No doubt the match will be remembered for a long time. But where does it crack the list of the 10 most memorable moments in U.S. soccer history? You decide.
You know, outside of American superiority at, like, everything.
Fans of SportsPickle say it all the time: "We love the site. But there's one thing it could really use: the constant noise of 50,000 vuvuzelas!"
Well, dear readers, we have listened to your demands and are proud to present a SportsPickle vuvuzela-enabled site. Enjoy!
Diego Maradona is regarded as one of the greatest soccer players of all-time. Today he is the head coach of Argentina's national team.
But there is much more to Diego Maradona than that. Let's take a look at his life in pictures.
Praises were to Allah most high today when Iranian Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threw out the ceremonial first stone at Hafezleh Stadium where the Bargh Shiraz achieved victory over the Shensa Arak.
The infidel recipient of the stone, a woman who winked at a man that was not her husband, was most grateful that her head was the target of her esteemed leader’s disdain.
“Awesome! This is just what I’ve always wanted!” she is reported to have exclaimed.
Ahmadinejad, who generally prefers to stone in private, decided to make the appearance after seeing Barack Obama throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener in April.
“At least I hit my target, unlike that American heretic poopy-poop dog leader who totally missed the catcher by, like, half a mile, even though he is of a race that normally succeeds at such matters,” said Ahmadinejad at a postgame press conference.
After throwing out the stone, Ahmadinejad posed for pictures with the team captains, and later signed the Kalashnikovs of several lucky children. The stoning, which was carried out at halftime, was an encouragement to all the faithful in attendance.