Video Soccer Player Plays with Anus Blood
Annnnnnnnnd you can never make another joke about soccer players not being tough.
News Europe Begins Its Much-Anticipated Soccer-Themed Racism Festival
"We've got some great racism in store for fans of hatred and bigotry," said Michael Platini, president of UEFA, a soccer organization that organizes the festival. "Great advancements in racism have been made since 2008. It's very exciting to see."
Euro 2012 features soccer teams from 16 countries throughout Europe, as well as Russia, and is being held in Poland and Ukraine.
"Really, we could have held the tournament anywhere and it would have been great," said Platini. "But we felt that the joint host bid between Poland and Ukraine was the best. They had some terrible things to say about people, but especially people of color, and hating them is really what the Euro Cup is all about."
Opinion Reasons to Root For/Against All 16 Euro Cup Nations
Group A
Russia
Reason to root against: Russian nesting dolls
What a crap gift. Just because you figured out a way to fit all of the fat wooden dolls inside the biggest one doesn't mean you get a pass for giving me increasingly smaller gifts. "Oh, wow. A smaller one. I wonder what's inside this one! Yep. An even tinier one." Maybe it's the way Russians teach their children about the country's declining influence in the world over time. "Once we were huge! Now … eh. We're a wobbly, half-inch of wood."
Reason to root for: Monkeys in space
The United States started sending monkeys to space in 1948, but stopped the practice almost completely by the early '60s. Not the Russians. They had monkeys orbiting Earth as late as 1997. And for that they are to be commended.
Greece
Reason to root against: You mean other than the fact that their fiscal incompetence could bring down the entire world economy?
Okay. Ouzo tastes like ass.
Reason to root for: Economic impact
If they win the Euro Cup, maybe in the celebrations the entire country is burned to the ground and we no longer have to worry about their debt.
Video Soccer Fans Engage in Lamest Fight Ever
They really manned up by not shrieking more.
