Ponder This...

I loved Ozzie Guillen’s “I don’t hate gay people” comments last week when he said he has gay friends, plans to attend the Gay Games in Chicago, went to a Madonna concert and – here’s the best one – attends WNBA games. I wonder how those comments went over in the WNBA league office, since they try to hide how gay the league is from the mainstream public. Perhaps it’s time they just be upfront about it. In fact, I think this all provides the WNBA a great advertising tagline for the 2007 season: “The WNBA: Prove You’re Not a Homophobe.”

Do not cry for Isiah Thomas, everyone. Once he inevitably gets canned next year he’ll be okay thanks to his successful popcorn company: http://www.daleandthomaspopcorn.com/affliliate.aspx. Popcorn is a great comfort food when one is a total failure. And on that page I especially like the bullet points under “Why popcorn?” beside Thomas’s picture.
> Everybody loves popcorn – men, women, kids, young, old, the mentally retarded – the market is huge!
> Popcorn is gaining popularity as a unique gift for friends, family, and business associates. Sexually harassed someone and want to avoid a lawsuit? Give them popcorn!
> Popcorn is emotional. It makes people feel good. It brings back memories of childhood and family fun and when you kissed the caramel right off Magic Johnson’s soft, delicious lips.
> Dale and Thomas Popcorn offers hand-finished premium popcorn made from original recipes and authentic ingredients and flavors. We grossly overpay for all of our ingredients!

Interesting that the Phillies’ solution to Brett Myers’s recent bout of wife-beating is to have him take some personal time away from the team to be with his family. How did that discussion go: “Brett, we know you’re having some troubles at home and we think you should take time to be with your wife right now. Just, uh, you know … don’t punch her or anything. That’s bad, Brett, bad. And if you wouldn’t mind signing this waiver here that says we will in no way be liable if you go home and beat your wife again, I’d really appreciate it. Great, thanks. Alright … that’s all. Enjoy your time away. And say “hi” to your wife for us.”

I’ve become friendly during the World Cup with one of the employees of the pizza shop around the corner from my apartment. He’s an Italian guy who actually played soccer professionally in Italy for a few years before emigrating to the United States. I usually stop in a couple of times a week for lunch or dinner and inevitably talk soccer with him for a few minutes. The weird thing is that every time I hand him my money to pay for my order, the contact knocks him to the ground where he starts writhing around for several minutes, screaming in pain and yelling for the “polizia.” That’s actually how I knew he played soccer in Italy long before he told me.

Mark Cuban is finally back posting again on his blog – Whew! Thank God! – after his short disappearance after the Mavericks’ collapse, and on Monday wrote more than 800 words explaining why he’s not a media whore: http://www.blogmaverick.com/entry/1234000227073770/. Um … okay. Eight-hundred words. On your blog. But you don’t want any attention. Got it. Hopefully Cuban can tell us more about his non-media-whoreness on his next “PTI” appearance or when he gets another reality show. Or maybe he’ll just run out onto the court in the Mavs’ home opener next season and scream to the cameras: “I’m not a media whore! Stop covering me!”

I can imagine how scared Greg LeMond must have been when Lance Armstrong threatened him. I’ve often been threatened by 145-pound former cancer patients and can attest that it’s terrifying. And in Armstrong’s case it’s even worse, because you can kick him in the crotch and you might not even make contact with a testicle.

Here’s my Page 2 column from Monday: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/060626. Hopefully you won’t think it’s as bad as this year’s NBA draft class.