Dwight Howard Gets Baptized

Picture Dwight Howard "Loyalty" T-Shirt

We can assume the NBA will soon make a Dwight Howard "Irony" t-shirt.

Picture "But why should I take your advice? You're just a commercial actor from those Patrick Chewing ads."

Picture Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard is crushed to death by his massive shoulders after they decide they have grown so big they no longer need the rest

Picture The NBA Defensive Player of the Year trophy will leap off its pedestal and murder you in your sleep.

Picture Having tried and failed with other, more traditional options, the Atlanta Hawks resort to the hack-a-Dwight-Howard-in-the-nuts defense.