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April 30, 2013

News Oh, No. Sports Radio Caller Has Take on Gay Issues.

Oh, God Oh, No Sports Radio Caller Has Take on Gay Issues - Image 1
A caller just now into Nashville's Sports Talk 980 drive-time show, "Crazy Mike and The Pete Show," says he has something to say about NBA player Jason Collins revealing he is gay.

"Alright, we've got Jimmie Ray from Smyrna calling in and he wants to talk about gay athletes," Crazy Mike just said. "You're on the air, Jimmie Ray."

Oh, God. His name is Jimmie Ray. This is going to be even worse than you feared.

"Yeah, hey, Crazy Mike. Yeah, I just wanted to talk about this NBA guy saying he's gay," said Jimmie Ray. "Now, I've never heard of him before because I don't really like NBA basketball. I don't think half of them try all season and when they do, it's only for the last few minutes of the game."

Please. Please someone stop this. Please. It's going to get racial and homophobic. Cut the line.

"And I learned in church growing up that homosexuality is a sin," continued Jimmie Ray.

Sweet mercy. This is a complete disaster. HANG UP ON HIM! You don't want sports radio callers talking about these issues! They're America's dumbest people! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

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Filed Under   NBA   media   Washington Wizards   Jason Collins
April 29, 2013

Video Soccer Linesman Decides to Attack Player

That's a good kick. He must have played soccer before.

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Filed Under   Soccer   referees
May 12, 2013

Opinion 15 Ways Your Mother Prevented You from Reaching Your Superstar Athlete Potential

15 Ways Your Mother Prevented You from Reaching Your Superstar Athlete Potential - Image 1
1. Making you feel safe and loved. From where were you supposed to draw the hate and anger that is required in order to succeed at violent sports such as football and boxing? She left your rage well completely dry!

2. Making you eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. So much for growing into the obese body of an NFL offensive lineman. Child obesity leads to NFL riches. Read a parenting book, mom!

3. Teaching you how to read. It's not a coincidence that no SEC school ever contacted you about playing after that. What was she thinking in teaching you about thinking?

4. Limiting your hours playing video games. Mom, you idiot, it's impossible to learn how to read a defense if you play less than five hours of Madden a day.

5. Making you go to bed at a reasonable time. You could have gotten a lot of training done at 2:00 a.m. when you were a little kid. You were robbed of countless extra practice time. Way to screw that up, MOM!

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   NCAAF   NCAAB   NHL   Soccer
April 29, 2013

Video Matt Bonner Refuses to Look at Lakers Fan

It's one of Jack Nicholson's greatest performances yet.

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April 29, 2013

News BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Still Employed as Professional Football Quarterback

BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Still Employed as Professional Football Quarterback - Image 1
The New York Jets waived quarterback Tim Tebow Monday morning in a shocking move that means Mark Sanchez somehow still remains employed as a professional football quarterback.

"I am as shocked as anyone, trust me," said Sanchez. "Every day I stay employed as a quarterback is both a blessing and a total and complete surprise. I am also kind of stunned that the Jets are still considered a professional football team."

The Jets had signed veteran quarterback David Garrard earlier in the offseason and drafted Geno Smith in the second round of the NFL Draft, further crowding an already muddled quarterback situation on the team.

"I had an idea that my days were numbered, considering that they wouldn't put me on the field at all last year," said Tebow. "But holy shit, how does Mark Sanchez still have a job? And, yes, I just cursed for the first time in my life. It seems 100-percent appropriate in this situation. Mark Sanchez? Guy f—king sucks."

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Filed Under   NFL   Tim Tebow   New York Jets   Mark Sanchez
April 29, 2013

Opinion HONEST NFL.com Headlines: 2013 NFL Draft

HONEST NFLcom Headlines: NFL Draft - Image 1
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Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft
April 26, 2013

Video Jets Fan Has the Best Analysis of the 2013 NFL Draft

He's the next Mel Kiper, Jr.

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April 26, 2013

News Manti Te'o: "My agent says I fell out of the 1st Round because I'm a moron"

Manti Teo: My agent says I fell out of the 1st Round because Im a moron - Image 1
Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o says he is disappointed to have not been drafted in the 1st Round of the NFL Draft but thinks he at least understands why.

"According to my agent, all of the teams backed away from me because they feel I am a 'total and complete moron,' to quote him," said Te'o. "He said they think I'm the dumbest person ever and they say that's even relative to other football players, which therefore — and again, I'm quoting — possibly makes me the 'dumbest person in the entire world.'"

Tom Condon, Te'o's agent, confirmed teams' sentiments towards the linebacker.

"Wow. Te'o remembered everything I said perfectly," said Condon. "Probably because I spoke very, very slowly and made him repeat the words back to me and also made sure there were no shiny objects in the room when I was talking to him."

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Filed Under   NFL   NCAAF   Notre Dame Fighting Irish   Manti Te'o