Opinion Why Three-Time Super Bowl Champion Bill Belichick is Wrong and Tim Tebow Sucks - by your friend Steve
by your friend Steve
You gotta be kidding me? The Patriots signed Tebow? Is this some kind of joke?
Tim Tebow is the worst player in the NFL. That's a fact.
He can't throw like an NFL quarterback and any "success" he had with the Broncos was thanks to his defense bailing him out. Anyone who says differently is a moron who worships at the alter of Tebow and thinks the three quarters before the fourth quarter don't exist.
Now we can add Bill Belichick to the list of Tebow-loving idiots.
Once, a very long time ago now, Belichick won three Super Bowls. Now he rarely gets through the later rounds of the playoffs or he loses in the Super Bowl. The game has passed him by. This Tebow-signing confirms it. Like Tebow's defense bailing him out, you have to start wondering if Belichick's "success" is all due to SpyGate. Tim Tebow simply has no place on an NFL team, not even as a backup or situational role player. None.
Let's all pray for LeBron James' vulva.
Bench player Gary Neal took 17 shots and scored 24 points, Kawhi Leonard put up 14 points, 10 rebounds and four steals and Danny Green went for 27 points two more than Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker scored combined. Yet Popovich bristled at suggestions that his team is falling apart as nameless role players are seizing marquee roles.
"That seems to me to be a very negative way to spin it," said Popovich in his post-game press conference, when asked if the stat sheet proves his team is hopelessly disorganized. "I feel we have a team that can get contributions from any number of players."
Tim Duncan also attempted to smooth over San Antonio's obvious locker room turmoil.
"We won by, what 36 points? A win is a win by any score, but I think that margin shows there isn't really a lot of bad stuff you can take from that game from our end," he added, clearly trying to convince himself that is true.
But in an NBA where it is established that a set "big three" is needed to lead a team to a championship, what hope to the Spurs really have without one or with three different players stepping up each game? With players stepping far outside their presumed roles?
The physical, scheduled to occur some time within the next few days, should determine if Tebow is healthy enough for a return to playing in the NFL, barring this whole fucking thing being some GMs idea of a sick, sick ruse. It almost has to be, doesn't it? They have Tom Brady. What the hell?
"I'm excited for the opportunity to start over again with the New England Patriots," said Tebow during a late afternoon press conference, "but I'm a man of faith, and even I'm skeptical."
Tebow, recently released by the New York Jets, had reportedly failed to muster up interest from a single other NFL team this offseason. Other NFL teams including: The Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, and the Jacksonville Jaguars. The fucking Jaguars.
Blue Jays fans don't get many chances to celebrate.
"There has long been a discussion in the scientific community about nature versus nurture when it comes to clutchness," said Craig Kent, who led the team that discovered the gene. "Many thought it was something an athlete could control via courage and mental toughness and simply wanting the ball. But now we know for sure that someone is either born clutch or they aren't. Only a small percentage of the population is born with the clutch gene."
Like many great scientific breakthroughs, the clutch gene discovery has many practical real-world implications.
"Teams will now be able to test prospective draft picks for the clutch gene," said Kent. "Would a player like Dwight Howard still be taken No. 1 overall if it was determined that he is clutch gene negative? Where would someone like Robert Horry have been drafted? This will replace scouting departments with labs."
10. Kevin Maas
Mass experienced the New York media hysteria 22 years before Jeremy Lin did. A 22nd round draft pick in 1986, Maas was called up to the Yankees in late June of 1990 as a 25 year-old. The first baseman instantly exploded. Maas set a major league record for fewest at-bats to reach 10 home runs (72) and finished his season with 21 home runs in just 79 games. THE YANKEES HAD FOUND THEIR NEW BABE RUTH!
Nope. More like their new Steve Balboni.
In 1991 in a full season Maas hit just 23 home runs and batted .220. By 1995 his major league career was over, finishing with one home run and a .193 average as a member of the Minnesota Twins.
Where is he now?: Maas works as a financial consultant in California and regularly returns to Yankee Stadium for Old-Timers' games, where he is no doubt forced to sit on the bench.
Wait until they call up Schlong and Wunidesnaik from the minors.