Archive

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November 18, 2010

Opinion A Pictorial of How the Tony Parker-Eva Longoria Romance Fell Apart

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Filed Under   NBA   San Antonio Spurs   Tony Parker
November 18, 2010

Picture Duke Players Are As Cool As Ever

He's Shelden Williams sexy.

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Filed Under   NCAAB   Duke Blue Devils
November 18, 2010

Opinion The Must-Have NBA Game This Holiday Season: O(den)peration!

It's definitely better than this game, which never even made it into stores:

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Filed Under   NBA   Greg Oden   Portland Trail Blazers
November 18, 2010

Video Jaroslav Halak Scores on Amazing One-Timer

Unfortunately he's a goalie.

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December 30, 2011

News Kim Jong-Un Shames North Korea with 7-Under 64

Kim Jong-un, the new supreme leader of North Korea following the death of his father, Kim Jong-il, shamed his father's memory and his entire nation today by shooting a 7-under par 64 at the Pyongyang National Golf Links. Jong-un, despite being in his mid-20s, finished 30 strokes behind his father's best score. According to North Korean state media, Jong-il once fired a 38-under 34 on the 7,700-yard Pyongyang course, including 11 holes-in-one.

The pathetic performance calls into question Jong-un's ability to lead the Communist nation, which had been headed for 18 years by Jong-il and earned much pride over the seemingly impossible athletic exploits of their miniature dictator.

"I was very happy with my round," said Jong-un. "You always feel like you've left a few shots out there — a putt or two here and there, a bad drive or something — but that's the way golf is. A 64 is a good score."

But after signing his scorecard, a coup was attempted by one of Pyongyang National's maintenance workers.

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Filed Under   golf
November 18, 2010

Picture The Tiger Woods Family Game

It's been on sale for the last year.

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Filed Under   golf   Tiger Woods
From Staff / November 8, 2011

Opinion The 15 Greatest Gym Class Activities

#1 – Crab Soccer

Anyone who's ever participated in or watched a children's soccer game knows that they're absolute debacles. Weak passing. Disinterested goalkeeping. Fifteen kids following the ball in a tightly bunched knot, while the remaining players sit on the field and pick dandelions. Soccer may be the beautiful game, but it's never been so ugly.

Yet for some reason, crab soccer is awesome. What could be better than seeing a bunch of kids crabwalk around on all fours, trying to kick a ball? The fundamentals are no worse than in actual youth soccer, and the kids get the fun benefit of occasionally stomping on each other's fingers or kicking someone in the face. In fact, we're pretty sure we could talk ourselves into getting excited for the Crab World Cup every four years.

#2 – Getting Hit in the Face with a Dodgeball

Sure, it looks like it will hurt. Does it really, though? Only a little*, and once your nose stops bleeding, you barely even feel it anymore. The few seconds of stinging are more than worth it because they allow you to take part in the best gym class activity of them all: getting out of gym class.

What sort of monstrous coach would make you keep playing after you took a dodgeball to the mouth? That would be downright cruel. No, better to hit the showers, then sit out for the rest of the day. Relax, unwind, have a snack, read a magazine, and laugh at all those poor bastards who didn't have the good fortune to be hit in the face with a rubber ball.

*Unless you wore glasses, in which case your face was covered in lacerations.

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Filed Under   Marquees
November 17, 2010

Video Miracle Finish in a High School Playoff Game

They stole this play from the ending of every "Friday Night Lights" episode.

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Filed Under   football
November 17, 2010

Picture Euro 2012 Mascots Unveiled to Terrify Children

One is for nightmares, the other is for daymares.

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Filed Under   Soccer   mascots