"First of all, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ," said Johnson, standing in victory lane and holding up a Bible. "I couldn't have done it without Him. I have appreciated His support since Day 1. He's a great partner."
Johnson then held up a bottle of Vitamin Water and gave a similar testimony about their impact on his successful season.
"And to the folks at Vitamin Water, you're the best," Johnson exclaimed. "You quench my thirst, you nurture my body and my soul."
Preventing skid marks is usually the last thing young quarterbacks learn.
Picture Eli Manning's Post-Fumble Face
He also looked like this in his high school graduation photo.
O Lance indeed.
It could be a dildo. It could be Dustin Pedroia's bat. Who knows.
November 19, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
Lebron's iPhone Auto-Correct is Set for Greg Oden Jokes
From @KingJames AKA Miami Heat forward Lebron James
- - -