In the photo after this, they're vomiting.
Tip #1 Wear jerseys.
Make sure you choose someone who will be on the team for a very long time (or at least the duration of your fandom). You don't want some weird mid-season, five-team trade leaving you with the last name of your archrival's second baseman on your back.
Don't know who your team's archrival is? Don't worry! Now that you're wearing all of your official team apparel, you will be subjected to their taunts and jeers. You know that guy who just spit in your nachos and gave you the finger for seemingly no reason? Find out who his favorite team is that's your archrival.
Bonus Tip: Check your local thrift store for some vintage team apparel. Wearing a really old shirt or jersey will make it look like you've been a fan forever. Pit stains suggest dedication.
Finally a job that doesn't require him to be mobile.
"This is a great program. A supportive program," said Newton. "Other schools have Secret Santa's, but the thing that's great about ours is that it is year-round. In fact, I've been getting gifts since the day I enrolled here."
Most of the cash, goods, electronics and services Newton has been given have had no Christmas markings at all.
"Clearly my Secret Santa is just trying to keep me in the dark about who he is," said Newton. "That's why he changes things up like that. In fact, sometimes he'll just have a booster or alum hand me an envelope of cash to throw me off the scent even more."
You'd think the "Live Free Or Die" state wouldn't have a problem with guns.
Greg Oden = Christmas Tree
Like Greg Oden, the Christmas tree starts the season tall, strong and full of promise. But before long, they're both decaying in front of your eyes and you eventually have to just put them out on the curb with the trash.
In my dreams it's a lot more oily.