If only he could act as well as "The Hangover"s Mike Tyson.
"I think our continued attention to this issue and this latest decision shows that we do things differently at Ohio State," said head coach Jim Tressel. "We do things the right way."
Tressel also noted that in order to really aid local charities, all player payments will be stepped up immediately.
"A few hundred here or there doesn't help much," said the coach. "We need to be giving our players more money so it can trickle down to these organizations. And I want all the players we are currently recruiting to know this, too we are offering more now than we did before. Much, much more."
Ohio State is also working with donors and alumni to set up a charity that will target at-risk youth, primarily young men ages 18-22 who can be violently injured every Saturday in the fall.
In Soviet Russia, wedgies give YOU!
That's attempted murder when someone is that old.
"It's a horrible scene," said a witness. "There's blood and mustache fragments everywhere."
- Colts -- Peyton Manning is always a decent Super Bowl pick in NFL seasons in which Rex Grossman is semi-relevant
- Chiefs -- Charlie Weis' history shows he only leaves NFL teams when they are the best
- Ravens -- they've been the best team in the NFL for 11 seasons in a row, just ask them!
- Eagles -- a condition of Michael Vick's release is that he must win the Super Bowl by 2011, so he's pretty motivated
- Seahawks -- laugh at them if you want, but they're the best 7-9 playoff team EVER
- Saints -- unrelated to Hurricane Katrina, Louisiana is kind of a dump so they've still got that to play for as motivation
- Packers -- it seems destined that the Packers will win the Super Bowl in this, the Season Of Favre Humiliation
- Jets -- Rex Ryan is motivated to get to Dallas to see if the feet are as big as everything else in Texas
Texans fans are worse at spelling than the Texans are at football.