News Cleveland Mayor Announces 1,000 New Jobs with Opening of Anti-Lebron T-Shirt Factory
"This shows again how resilient the City of Cleveland and its people are," said Jackson. "We took the negative energy and disappointment over Lebron James' departure and made it into something that will provide jobs to the city. It's a remarkable story."
Quitness Industries, the t-shirt manufacturer, will begin hiring immediately for three shifts, including weekends, to try to meet the region's unquenchable desire for anti-Lebron apparel, signs and decals.
"In poor economies like we have today, rage and anger businesses have always done quite well," says Quitness Industries CEO Frank Marshall. "For example, right now gun companies are raking in profits. And during the Great Depression, there were popular stands throughout cities where, for a penny, you could punch a hobo."
Picture There's Nothing More Appropriate Than a Cincinnati Bengals Toilet
I wonder if this comes with Carson Palmer toilet paper. (via @ochocinco)
December 2, 2010 Column
Overheard ...
The Gym: Issue #1
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games, tailgates and sports bars.
The gym manager was showing this prospective new gym member around. She was very attractive. He was showing here some of the equipment.
Manager: Like most gyms, we require everyone to wipe off the equipment when they're done.
Girl: Uh-huh.
Manager: But I'm sure most guys here would be okay if you didn't do that. (laughs)
Girl: (silence)
I haven't seen here back since then. I guess his creepy sales pitch didn't work.
— Romar
My roommate has been going to the gym since last spring because he said he wanted to get in shape for the beach. He actually trimmed up a lot and has been looking a lot better. I've been asking him what his routine is thinking I could try it but he's always sort of vague about it. Then last week before he got home from class there was a message on our machine. It was his gym calling to say his zumba class was canceled because the instructor was sick. I didn't tell him about it. I'm going to let him know I know before Christmas break when I give him a gift of purple zumba pants. Size: girl's small.
— Dustin
I fart when I do lunges. Only lunges. It doesn't matter what I eat or don't eat. I can't explain it. It must be the way my body is made. So I only do lunges at home now when I know no one will be there for a few hours. But even then sometimes I gross myself out.
— Lindsey
News Mars Surprisingly Named Host of the 2022 World Cup
"I really thought we had the best bid," said former President Bill Clinton, who led the U.S. final presentation. "And I thought the Qataris did well, too. The World Cup going to a non-world host was a bit of a surprise."
Mars did not even submit a formal bid for the World Cup, but it is believed many of the FIFA voters expect to be rewarded with extra-terrestrial powers and luxury spaceships by delivering the tournament to our solar system neighbor.
FIFA president Sepp Blatter dismissed charges of corruption and said a Mars World Cup is a bold and important decision.
Video MMA Fighter Wins, Pukes
He should have tried that move during the bout. (via Deadspin)
Opinion Lebron-Friendly T-Shirts for His Return to Cleveland
The Cavaliers are banning fans from wearing anti-Lebron t-shirts for his return game to Cleveland.
So these t-shirts are the next best option.
Video Grey Cup Broom Guy Has Coordination Befitting the CFL
This is a fall for the halftime show rehearsal. Imagine how awesome it was for the real thing.
Opinion The 7 Kinds of Youth Sports Parents
No, this parent is not a ham radio enthusiast. That weird looking box thing they carry with them at all times is a portable defibrillator … and it might just save your child's life!
A youth soccer game might not seem like a heart-stopping event, but they read this one story on the Internet somewhere. There's also this other story they heard from the parent of an opposing player, that's why they also bring that bag full of instant cold packs, smelling salts, and assorted foods that are high in electrolytes. You can tell their kid from the others because he's the one playing a non-contact sport with a helmet on and drinking a Gatorade made specifically for marathoners.
Favorite thing to say while watching from the bleachers: "(Gasp!) My baby!"
Not only has he been named "Dad of the Year" (unofficially via coffee mug) for making it to every one of his son's games, he's also won numerous regional amateur photography awards for the pictures taken at said games.
Growing up, his parents never supported his passion for photography, and his wife always said it was stupid — so a state-of-the-art-camera was the obvious choice when it came to buying himself a gift to celebrate his 50th birthday/divorce. Believe it or not, but photographing his own kid playing tennis hasn't helped him much financially, so he's looking to "branch out" and do some weddings and other events.
No, really, here's his card. Take it. Tell your friends.
Favorite thing to say while watching from the bleachers: "Here's that 8×10 action shot of your kid you never asked me for."
