Perhaps he thought it was just a sprint heat.
He is the Bo Jackson of mixed martial arts.
"I called Orange D'Lights Tanning Emporium and pretended I was coach Shanahan," said Fletcher. "I said I wouldn't be able to make my morning session and asked for one at 1:00 p.m. Then I told Mike that the salon had called the locker room phone to tell him his appointment was changed."
Now Shanahan must decide between Washington's game against a division rival or a crucial winter tanning session.
"It really isn't a tough decision," said Shanahan. "Maybe if we were still in the playoff hunt I might have to put some thought into it. But I can't miss a tanning session in December. It's hard keeping a good leathery brown going in the winter."
Surely there are ways to support Big Baby without terrifying everyone.
Opinion 10 Tips for Skiing Success!
He's probably a Congressman.
December 16, 2010 Column
The Gym: Issue #3
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games, tailgates and sports bars.
A guy I work with goes to the same gym as I do. I don't know him real well but he is older than me and is married. I know this because I met his wife at a company outing. He also wears a wedding ring. But only at work not at the gym.
A few times he's made the point of telling me it's because the weights scratch his ring. Fine by me. I don't care. I'm not the marriage patrol and I don't care about his jewelry care.
But then I saw him in the gym parking lot making out with some lady who also goes to the gym. Who is not his wife. I guess he didn't want to get sweaty skanky on his wedding ring either. What a guy.
I work at a gym in Indiana. There are several wanna-be guidos who work out at the gym. One day while I'm working out after work, I hear one guido say to another, "Dude, I'm bringing the Hulkness." I couldn't keep this to myself. "Bringing the Hulkness" is now the unofficial slogan of the workers whenever we have to get pumped for something.
Like most gyms, my gym makes everyone carry a towel around with them and wipe off the equipment when they're done. A guy near me was on the leg press machine, calmly finished a set, and wiped off the seat. I noticed then that his white towel now had brown on it. The guy crapped himself pushing the leg press.
He tossed his towel in the hamper and left and I debated telling the gym staff about the machine but decided not to because it was just so gross I couldn't talk about it. But I've never used that leg press machine since then.
"I would love to get Michael Vick in the future," a Virginia Beach, Virginia pit bull told a local dog newspaper. "I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process."
Vick, who spent 18 months in federal prison for running a dog-fighting ring, recently expressed a desire to have a dog again. It's a reunion that many dogs welcome.
"He served his time, has expressed regret and that's very important," said a muscular pit bull, pacing outside Vick's Philadelphia residence. "But as far as the dog community goes? There is still unfinished business. So, sure, if he'd like to get back together, we are all for it. Name the time and place. We'll be there waiting."