Archive

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December 17, 2010

Video Chinese Hurdler is the Most Awesomely Destructive Hurdler of All-Time

Perhaps he thought it was just a sprint heat.

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Filed Under   Summer Olympics   track and field
December 22, 2010

Opinion Christmas Cards From Some of Your Favorite Athletes

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL
December 17, 2010

Video MMA Delivers an All-Time Great Kick

He is the Bo Jackson of mixed martial arts.

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Filed Under   MMA
December 17, 2010

News Redskins Change Mike Shanahan's Next Tanning Appointment to Sunday at Kickoff

Minutes after being told that Rex Grossman would start ahead of Donovan McNabb at quarterback on Sunday versus Dallas, Washington captains London Fletcher and Lorenzo Alexander met and decided to change their coach's Sunday tanning appointment to 1:00 p.m. ET.

"I called Orange D'Lights Tanning Emporium and pretended I was coach Shanahan," said Fletcher. "I said I wouldn't be able to make my morning session and asked for one at 1:00 p.m. Then I told Mike that the salon had called the locker room phone to tell him his appointment was changed."

Now Shanahan must decide between Washington's game against a division rival or a crucial winter tanning session.

"It really isn't a tough decision," said Shanahan. "Maybe if we were still in the playoff hunt I might have to put some thought into it. But I can't miss a tanning session in December. It's hard keeping a good leathery brown going in the winter."

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Filed Under   NFL   Washington Redskins   Mike Shanahan
December 17, 2010

Picture The Ugliest Thing in Celtics Apparel Since Larry Bird

Surely there are ways to support Big Baby without terrifying everyone.

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Filed Under   NBA   Boston Celtics
From Staff / December 29, 2011

Opinion 10 Tips for Skiing Success!

Make sure that you're properly attired to stay warm and dry by picking up a pair of bibs. Remember, although you may be an adult, wearing bibs is still considered cool during the following activities: skiing, eating lobster, and being senile.

Yes, your clunky ski boots make it difficult to walk when you're not on the slopes. Don't complain too much, though. This is what every single day is like for Robocop, and you don't hear him whining, do you?

You can slow yourself down by forming a wedge with your skis, and putting your skis parallel to each other will speed you up. You might remember these two positions as "pizza" and "French fries." Of course, if you need junk food analogies to remember two simple positions, gravity will probably force your massive girth to hurtle downhill at breakneck speeds regardless of where you point your skis.

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Filed Under   Winter Olympics   skiing
December 16, 2010

Video Old Man Wizards Fan Has Dance Fever

He's probably a Congressman.

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Filed Under   NBA   Washington Wizards

December 16, 2010 Column Overheard ...
The Gym: Issue #3

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games, tailgates and sports bars.

A guy I work with goes to the same gym as I do. I don't know him real well but he is older than me and is married. I know this because I met his wife at a company outing. He also wears a wedding ring. But only at work not at the gym.

A few times he's made the point of telling me it's because the weights scratch his ring. Fine by me. I don't care. I'm not the marriage patrol and I don't care about his jewelry care.

But then I saw him in the gym parking lot making out with some lady who also goes to the gym. Who is not his wife. I guess he didn't want to get sweaty skanky on his wedding ring either. What a guy.

— Dave

I work at a gym in Indiana. There are several wanna-be guidos who work out at the gym. One day while I'm working out after work, I hear one guido say to another, "Dude, I'm bringing the Hulkness." I couldn't keep this to myself. "Bringing the Hulkness" is now the unofficial slogan of the workers whenever we have to get pumped for something.

— Neal

Like most gyms, my gym makes everyone carry a towel around with them and wipe off the equipment when they're done. A guy near me was on the leg press machine, calmly finished a set, and wiped off the seat. I noticed then that his white towel now had brown on it. The guy crapped himself pushing the leg press.

He tossed his towel in the hamper and left and I debated telling the gym staff about the machine but decided not to because it was just so gross I couldn't talk about it. But I've never used that leg press machine since then.

— Becky

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Filed Under   overheard
December 16, 2010

News Dogs Express Interest in Owning Michael Vick

Several dogs expressed interest today in owning Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick.

"I would love to get Michael Vick in the future," a Virginia Beach, Virginia pit bull told a local dog newspaper. "I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process."

Vick, who spent 18 months in federal prison for running a dog-fighting ring, recently expressed a desire to have a dog again. It's a reunion that many dogs welcome.

"He served his time, has expressed regret and that's very important," said a muscular pit bull, pacing outside Vick's Philadelphia residence. "But as far as the dog community goes? There is still unfinished business. So, sure, if he'd like to get back together, we are all for it. Name the time and place. We'll be there waiting."

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Filed Under   NFL   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles