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Pittsburgh police issued an arrest warrant today for Jets wide receiver Santonio Holmes, who allegedly racked up nearly 200 felony charges that were accidentally misfiled during his career with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

"It's the damnedest thing," said Pittsburgh Chief of Police Nathan Harper. "We were just doing some routine filing, and it turns out Santonio Holmes committed a whole bunch of crimes while he was here, but never got charged for them. Oh well, guess he won't be able to play Sunday."

Holmes was the MVP of Super Bowl XLIII for the Steelers, but the team traded him to the Jets prior to this season, in part due to his off the field troubles. He was arrested in 2008 on possession of marijuana, and now faces charges of first-degree murder, manslaughter, driving while intoxicated, prostitution, running an illegal cockfighting ring, jaywalking, possession of stolen goods and giving Mario Lemieux cancer. The final charge, due to local laws, could result in immediate execution.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers created a controversy today while shopping at a grocery store near his home. Witnesses say Rodgers purchased his groceries and left the store without once acknowledging a child in the store who will one day die.

Little Thomas Riley, age 5, was one checkout aisle away from Rodgers with his mother when the quarterback paid and left.

"Sure, Mr. Big Shot has enough money to buy groceries — all brand names, I might add," said Thomas' mother, Cindy, "but can't give any money to my son. Who knows what Thomas will die from? He needs help."

"I don't want to die," said Thomas, overhearing his mother. "Am I dying, Mommy? I feel good. I don't want to die."

"Yes, honey," said his mother. "You're dying. And Aaron Rodgers doesn't care."

With Thomas now in tears, sadness filling what could be his final days, Rodgers was long gone and on the way to his nearby mansion.