January 7, 2011 Column
Tweet of the Week
I don't think "little big butt" is the politically correct term
From @ddockett AKA Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett
- - -
D3: working at Father's construction company
D1: "working" at "Father's" "construction company"
D1: dating the current Ms. Alabama
D3: once got an HJ from the Ms. Guam 14th runner-up
D3: taking 20 credits this semester
D1: no classes, but did take 20 credit cards this semester
January 6, 2011 Column
The Gym: Issue #4
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games, tailgates and sports bars.
A guy at my gym I should say a dude at my gym is a total metal head. At least he looks like he is. He has long, dark hair that is slicked back and hangs down to about his shoulders. He usually wears black boots and black jean shorts and some kind of band shirt. He would look extremely ridiculous, if not for the fact that he's pretty cut so you can't make fun of him even if you wanted to.
He always has earbuds in listening to music and sometimes you see him between sets doing air drumming like he's part of Metallica or Slayer or something. I was working near him one day and when he got up off the bench, his phone fell, pulling the ear bud cord out of the phone and suddenly blasting out of the phone was no lie Ke$ha.
An embarrassment to metal heads everywhere. Humans, too.
My friend and I were just standing around talking when this kid comes up to us. Starts talking about how strong he is and shows us his biceps (you know, the way kids do) my friend doesn't even skip a beat, look at the kid's biceps and says, "Wow, looks like you've been hitting the jungle-gym."
Hilarious. Kid hasn't talked to us since.
I was going to do hamstring curls and a guy got to the machine right before I did. He asked me if I wanted to work in, but I didn't want to lay in his sweat so I just said I'd wait until he was done. He did one set and then said he was done because: "The bench hurts my new piercing." And then, if there was any confusion, gestured towards his junk.
If that was a pickup line it was the worst one ever.
He's like if Carrot Top took less steroids and was Russian. (via @bubbaprog)
I could do that. And I can barely skate.
She's been heard. And also seen. Mostly seen.
Left homeless after a series of poor decisions, breakups and failed forays into adult films, Winters has been offered a job by the Cleveland Cavaliers to be a cheerleader and is being pursued by other teams and also millions of suitors after she and her amazing rack became an online sensation.
"This has been totally, totally amazing," Winters said in a phone interview with The Associated Press on Wednesday, her voice choking with emotion. "I'm just so thankful. God has blessed me so deeply. I'm getting a second chance. Amazing."
Unfortunately, in a phone interview and not on video again, no one could see Winters' luscious bosom, so it was kind of a waste of everyone's time.
#1 Half of life is just showing up (and being dressed appropriately).
In every other school subject, you had to demonstrate specific skills and abilities to pass. You didn't get out of math without learning to add. You couldn't pass English if you couldn't read. No way you were getting a "C" in calculus if you couldn't do whatever it is you do in calculus.
But for gym class you just had to show up, stand in line for roll call and be wearing a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and sneakers (sneakers that didn't have a black sole that would mark the floor!). If you had all that? Good for you, kid! You get an "A"!
#2 Crab soccer is ideal for revenge.
What crab soccer was good for, however, was paying back any classmate you had the slightest grudge against. All you had to do was crawl over near them and unleash a powerful kick in the general direction of the ball. "Whoops! I kicked you square in the teeth! My mistake!"
And no one could prove it wasn't a mistake. You didn't get detention; you didn't even get pulled from the game. I guess the only downside was having to wash all the blood off your shoes when you got home from school.
Video World's Worst Exercise
It's great if you want to rehab your back after you get back surgery for doing this.