January 20, 2011 Column
The Game: Issue #1
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at a game? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about the gym, tailgates and sports bars.
One of my least favorite parts of a football game is listening to "the coach from the bleachers." After the Florida-LSU game of this past season, I overheard quite possibly the most offensive quote I've ever heard from this fan. If you don't remember correctly, LSU ran a fake field goal to get a crucial first down late in the 4th quarter.
When we were walking out of the stadium, I overheard two of your everyday fraternity brothers talking about how Florida should have been prepared for the trick play. Apparently, one of them had played a little too much NCAA '11 and quickly pointed out that (and yes this is word for word): "it's Les f- Miles! Urban has to know to call FG safe zone!" Thank you, coach-from-the-stands, for making me feel better about my knowledge and understanding of the game of football.
I was at a hockey game and had to hit the bathroom between periods. The lines were really long and a guy a few lines over couldn't wait. So he finishes off the beer he's holding, walks over towards the sinks, whips it out and starts pissing in his cup. It filled all the way up, so he lets the last few streams out onto the floor. So gross.
A few seconds later, a security guy comes over and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around, still holding his cup of piss and tosses it at the security guy and runs. He didn't get far because a guy waiting in line near the exit dropped him with a punch to the back of the head. If anyone deserves the death penalty, it's this piss-tossing guy.
Picture Team Mascot is a Penis
It's for the Rhode Island School of Design. And aren't all mascots really dicks anyway?
He IS the most trusted source for the truth.
"It's the damnedest thing," said Pittsburgh Chief of Police Nathan Harper. "We were just doing some routine filing, and it turns out Santonio Holmes committed a whole bunch of crimes while he was here, but never got charged for them. Oh well, guess he won't be able to play Sunday."
Holmes was the MVP of Super Bowl XLIII for the Steelers, but the team traded him to the Jets prior to this season, in part due to his off the field troubles. He was arrested in 2008 on possession of marijuana, and now faces charges of first-degree murder, manslaughter, driving while intoxicated, prostitution, running an illegal cockfighting ring, jaywalking, possession of stolen goods and giving Mario Lemieux cancer. The final charge, due to local laws, could result in immediate execution.
Picture This Jets Dog Will Kill You
He's a Jets fan and he has four feet. It's Rex Ryan's dream. (via Sportress of Blogitude)
Little Thomas Riley, age 5, was one checkout aisle away from Rodgers with his mother when the quarterback paid and left.
"Sure, Mr. Big Shot has enough money to buy groceries all brand names, I might add," said Thomas' mother, Cindy, "but can't give any money to my son. Who knows what Thomas will die from? He needs help."
"I don't want to die," said Thomas, overhearing his mother. "Am I dying, Mommy? I feel good. I don't want to die."
"Yes, honey," said his mother. "You're dying. And Aaron Rodgers doesn't care."
With Thomas now in tears, sadness filling what could be his final days, Rodgers was long gone and on the way to his nearby mansion.