If it's related to the Knicks, it's probably ugly.
- I reach deep inside
- I know I'm alive
- I reach for the sky
- I know I am willing to try
- All of the above
- Unsure. But when these polls are done, vote or not, I always did my best and inside I know.
Sources close to the coach say he's been locked in his office with a small black book full of phone numbers playing Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" over and over again on his iPod since returning from San Antonio on Monday.
"No, I wouldn't say it's a vindictive thing. I just want to make sure all the girls who passed me up over the years are completely aware of my enormous and deserved success," says Smart. "It's mainly a maturity thing. I want them to understand that I have changed into a mature person who has risen above all the spite and anger that usually accompanies a break-up " he begins before taking his hand off the mouthpiece of the phone and launching into a profanity-laced tirade.
"Oh, you thought I was too slow to commit, huh? You though I was going to lose in the first round, huh? Your parents never approved of me, did they, Sheila? Do they approve of the Final Four? 'Cause that's where I'm headed!" shouted Smart into his phone, clearly blurring the lines between women he has had relationships with and ESPN analysts.
Smart's voice could be heard through his shut office door.
"Is my goatee stupid now, Karen? Do I not go to nice enough restaurants now, Karen? Well, I'll tell you one nice place I got reservations for, it's a little restaurant down on the east-side called the Final Four!" yelled Smart before slamming the phone down emphatically.
"I can't imagine what he'll be like if we win the championship," says VCU point guard Joey Rodriguez.
Picture Pete Rose is a Handsome Woman
I bet Rose misses baseball as much as Lilith Fair. (via MockSession)
Only the greatest things ever appear on SportsPickle. But among those greatest things ever are the greatest things of the greatest things.
Here's what they were in March, based on traffic numbers.
April 1, 2011 Column
Tweet of the Week
Darnell Dockett is one athlete Kim Kardashian will never date
From @ddockett AKA Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Docket
- - -
And here is Dockett's Khloe Kardashian look-alike
#1 Hidden Ball Trick
Basic Instructions: Conceal the location of the ball from the baserunner in hopes he strays away from the base, allowing you to then tag him out.
Advanced Instructions: Take a ton of steroids to help you hit home runs against unsuspecting pitchers. Meanwhile, your balls will disappear.
#2 Surprise Onside Kick
Basic Instructions: Line up for a regular kickoff, but have your kicker tap the ball only 10 yards ahead in hopes of catching the opposition by surprise so you can regain possession of the ball.
Advanced Instructions: Turn the prank on your kicker by just standing there after he kicks the ball, leaving him as the only player on your team trying to chase it down. It will be hilarious when the little guy gets creamed by the opposing team.
#3 Pump Fake
Basic Instructions: Feign taking a jump shot, but don't leave the ground. This can cause your defender to leap into the air or lose his balance, allowing you to drive past him to the basket or shoot uncontested.
Advanced Instructions: If you just got pump-faked by someone, when they go up to shoot as you are coming back down to the ground, punch them in the crotch Kevin Garnett-style. Prank back at you!