March 24, 2011 Column
The Gym: Issue #11
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games.
My gym, like every gym I think, has a rule that requires you to keep your shirt on in the gym. A couple of meatheads were benching and there were some girls nearby so they decided to shed their shirts.
A few minutes later a gym worker, another girl, comes by and tells them to put their shirts back on. The one guy did right away while the other meathead goes: "Even me?" and then flexes his pecs and winks. If there was a Douche Hall of Fame, this guy would get in on the first ballot.
I work at a gym in Georgia. One day while I was working I heard what sounded like a terrified girl's scream coming from the men's side of the gym. Turns out that while one guy was loading weights on our leg squat machine (the plates sit on the machine horizontally), he dropped the weights on the rack and managed to get his dick stuck between two 45 pound plates and the nearest guy had to get the plates off of him. We now call him "Flathead."
The New York media seems, I don't know, almost reactionary sometimes.
"The Yankee organization strives to have the best of the best," said Yankees general manager Brian Cashman. "And Dr. Andrews is by far the best surgeon in the field of sports medicine. We're proud to have him. We're also excited because now if anyone gets hurt on any other team, they're pretty much screwed," he added laughing, as he high-fived fellow Yankees executives.
Dr. Andrews has long practiced at the Andrews Sports Medicine and Orthopedic Center in Alabama, Birmingham, and is the go-to surgeon for ligament injuries including "Tommy John surgery," which repairs torn elbow ligaments in pitchers.
"For years I have made my services available to everyone," said Dr. Andrews. "But I'm 69 years-old now. Most surgeons are long-since retired. But I'm going to keep going. I just feel it's my right to cash in a little bit. And the Yankees are always the place for an older person in baseball to do that."
They probably can't even spell "mullet." (via Rocky Top Talk)
Kronwall was a few seconds away from putting Eaves out of his misery with a skate blade to the neck.
It's hard to break new barriers in soccer pussydom. But he pulled it off.
"There are a lot of old, rich, white men out there who would happily step in and serve as an owner for a few months or however long they're needed," said NFLPA chief DeMaurice Smith. "Replacement owners might not be able to be greedy and sit there in a luxury box watching the players play football at the same level as the current owners, but I'm sure the fans wouldn't notice much of a difference in the on-field product they tune in every week to see."
The announcement has caused panic among current NFL ownership, who had never considered that the players could use replacement owners, just as the owners used replacement players during the 1987 labor impasse. The NFLPA's proposal has received strong public support.
"Oh, crap," said Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie. "Sometimes we owners forget that absolutely no one comes to a stadium or turns on a game to watch us own. We might be screwed here. This new NFLPA guy isn't nearly as incompetent as past ones they've had."