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Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig has made his first decision since taking control of the floundering Dodgers franchise, putting himself fourth in the lineup for tonight's game against the Braves.

"The Dodgers need a steady hand right now, not just from the executive level but also on the field, playing in the games," said Selig. "I plan to provide that."

Selig, age 76, says playing in the major leagues has been a lifelong dream of his, but insists that he is not abusing his power.

"I might be older than the average player, but we saw how Jamie Moyer was still contributing last year in his late 40s," said the commissioner. "And I'll have you know that in 1949 I was eighth on my JV baseball team with a .271 average. Unfortunately, I didn't make varsity the next season because by then my school allowed black students to play. That's when I started the Collective Bargaining Club at school and the rest, as they say, is history."

Less than two weeks after stepping away from baseball, former major league slugger Manny Ramirez is already pushing 700 pounds.

"He is an incredibly lazy man," said his wife, Juliana. "He hasn't gotten out of bed more than once or twice since the day he quit and he keeps having food delivered directly to the bedroom. There is a huge pile of empty takeout containers and pizza boxes all over him. He is using empty lo mein containers as a bed pan … when he even uses a bed pan."

Juliana says she is only guessing that her husbands weight is 675 pounds, as he broke the bed yesterday and, according to the manufacturer's website, the bed is made to hold no more than 670 pounds.

"That was yesterday and he's getting fatter by the day," she said. "Even if he does get the motivation to move, I don't think he'll fit out of the doorway anymore. We'll have to get a crane and take him out our big bay window."

And Ramirez, who frequently jogged after balls in the outfield and didn't run out ground balls, is showing no signs of becoming more active in his retirement. This morning he had several flatscreen televisions installed on the ceiling above his bed so he didn't have to strain to bend his neck and place it on a pillow to see his TV on the wall.

Chicago Bulls bench stalwart Brian Scalabrine was named the NBA's 12th Man of the Year yesterday for his lack of contributions to his team's success despite holding down a roster spot all season.

"Brian really was the definition of a 12th man this year," said Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau. "He sat at the end of the bench, rarely got to remove his warm-ups and, in the few instances he actually got into a game, made no impact other than providing the fans some laughs with his awkward and error-prone play."

Scalabrine played 28 games in the 2011-2012 season, starting none, and averaged 4.4 minutes played in those 28 appearances with 0.8 rebounds per game, 0.5 assists per game and a 0.1 scoring average — for 32 total points on the season.

"I don't like to base my votes on awards completely off of stats," said TNT broadcast Ernie Johnson. "But you can't overlook what Brian did not do this year. He was completely worthless. A true 12th man. He deserved this … I want to say … honor? But that doesn't sound right. He deserved this recognition. Let's go with that."