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(Page 297)
May 31, 2011

Picture Jim Tressel Needed to Lie a Few Hundred More Times to Lose the Support of Ohioans

They think the Ohio State scandals are all Lebron's fault.

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Filed Under   NCAAF   Ohio State Buckeyes   Jim Tressel
May 29, 2011

Video Here's Today's 3-2-6-1-5-3-4-6-8 Double Play

Hey. That's my social security number, jerks.

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Filed Under   MLB   minor league baseball
May 27, 2011

Opinion 5 Tips to Help You Dominate 5 Classic Family Picnic Sports

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Filed Under   misc
May 27, 2011

News First Baseman Breaks His Leg Trying to Block First Base

The Giants lost first baseman Aubrey Huff for the season last night with a broken leg when he tried to block first base on a single by Florida's Logan Morrison.

"We were losing by a run. It was a crucial point in the game. I wasn't going to let him get on base easy," said Huff. "Unfortunately, my leg bent over as I was blocking the bag and snapped."

Huff is the second Giants starter to go down for the season to injury due to playing aggressive defense. Catcher Buster Posey fractured his leg and strained ankle ligaments blocking the plate on Wednesday night.

"I felt it was a clean play," said Morrison. "I was jogging down the line after my hit fell in and all of a sudden I see Huff standing there. I stopped and said: 'What are you doing? Move!' And he was like: 'No. I'm blocking the bag.' And I said: 'You can't do that.' And he said: 'I'm doing it.' So I just took a few steps back, ran full speed, lowered my shoulder and took him out."

Giants manager Bruce Bochy also agreed the play wasn't dirty, but said that baseball needs to adopt rules protecting fielders. When told there is already a rule prohibiting fielders from blocking bases, Bochy said: "Oh. I need to remember to tell my guys about that."

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Filed Under   MLB   San Francisco Giants   Aubrey Huff
May 27, 2011

Picture A Very, Very Rough Estimation of Lebron's Headband Position: Circa 2016

I don't think he looks bald at all.

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Filed Under   NBA   Lebron James   Miami Heat
May 27, 2011

News Pat Riley Fires Erik Spoelstra, Takes Over as Heat Head Coach for NBA Finals

Six months after rumors swirled that Miami Heat president Pat Riley would fire head coach Erik Spoelstra and assume the job himself, Riley finally pulled the trigger today and announced that he will lead the Heat in the NBA Finals.

"You don't have success in this business by making rash decisions," said Riley. "Yes, there was an urge to let Erik go back in late November when we were 9-8, but I felt that now was the better time to make the move."

Spoelstra loses his job after helping the Heat run through the Eastern Conference playoffs with a 12-3 record. But it wasn't enough for Riley.

"He said something about how we could have been undefeated and that perfection is the goal," said Spoelstra. "But I think he was mainly just trying to cover his ass for a wrongful termination lawsuit. Everyone knows how much he wants another NBA title on his coaching resume. I've assumed this was coming ever since he moved into my office during our 12-game winning streak during the regular season. I am very proud of what I've done with this team, considering that I've been watching film and meeting with players in a small equipment closet near the arena service elevator since January."

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Filed Under   NBA   Miami Heat   Erik Spoelstra   Pat Riley

May 27, 2011 Column Tweet of the Week
Danny Granger Would be a Very LOLzy Prison Warden

From @Dgranger33 AKA Indiana Pacers forward Danny Granger …

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May 27, 2011

Picture Mike Miller Tried to Kill Lebron After Miami Beat the Bulls

I bet America put him up to it.

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Filed Under   NBA   Lebron James   Miami Heat   Mike Miller
From matthewcsevcik / May 26, 2011

Opinion EXCLUSIVE: Book Excerpts from "Versus: We Don't Have a Ton of Fun"

"We never wanted to be the number one sports channel. We didn't even want to be the number two sports channel. We wanted to carve out our own place in the sports world, and we did. You've got ESPN at the top, then ESPN 2, ESPN News, Fox Sports, Fox Sports Mexico, Fox Sports Bahrain, Versus Sports, and then the Bum Fights Network. Oh wait, I'm reading this ratings report wrong, we are actually tied with the Bum Fights Network."

— Versus CEO Mark Schmidt, from Chapter One: "The First Sports Network To Start on a Drunken Dare"

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"No, we didn't have any big stars like Chris Berman or the gorilla mascot from the Phoenix Suns, but what we did have was a great deal of inexperience and a severe lack of professionalism. We literally learned to work the cameras as we went. We actually shot most of our footage with Mark's iPhone and used iMovie to put it all together. That's why there were so many text alert sounds during our Mountain West conference football coverage."

— Versus Production Director and Part-Time Custodian Jonas Felt, from Chapter Three: "On The Shoulders of Midgets"

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Filed Under   media