Sounds like someone did way too much Dew.
Mardy Fish puts the "ard" in "retarded".
"There are a lot of things that can be a distraction to a modern athlete's neck," said Dungy, who has written self-help books and mentored Michael Vick, Plaxico Burress and others since stepping away from coaching. "But I find that if a neck just stays looking ahead at the Lord, it doesn't need to twist or turn, so it will never get hurt. Jesus saves necks."
Manning underwent offseason neck surgery on May 23rd, but his rehab and arm strength have plateaued and it is expected that he will miss the Colts' season opener, if not more games, and end his consecutive starts streak at 208.
"It's been frustrating, obviously," said Manning. "But I do feel like I'm getting closer to being 100-percent again. I just need rehab and rest. Unfortunately, it's been tough to do either the last few days with Tony always appearing out of nowhere to try to talk to my neck or pray for my neck. He was a pretty good coach, I guess, but he's super weird."
I'm sure the Texas people really enjoyed the joke. They don't take this stuff seriously.
Every college has it's own unique football gameday traditions.
Yet these 13 people show up at every game at every school in the country.
#1 The Visiting Parents
They drove five hours to come see their kid at college and thought they could all take in a game together. They would think that. Idiots. Jesus, do they not realize how embarrassing they are? Their kid has lived on his own at school for, like, a few weeks now. He's grown. The last thing he needs is his mom and dad asking about whether or not he's made friends and how his classes are. Just shut up and try to make it through the next 36 hours without humiliating him too much, MOM. Oh, and they're going to Target after the game. There's a bunch of stuff he needs them to buy for his dorm room.
#2 The Rich Alumnus
This guy might be the easiest to spot: he's wearing a blazer that's the school's color just beneath a regal shock of silver hair. He has several dormitories and lecture halls names after him around the campus. He's happy to sport the school colors and come to a football game, but he wishes that the boys would engage in some of the more dignified pursuits students enjoyed in his day, like polo, ballroom dancing, and segregation.