Opinion The 5 Stages of Athlete Grief
Stage 1: Denial
Description: The athlete denies he actually lost as a temporary defense.
Youth Athlete in Denial: "No way I lost. My mom said I'm the best player ever!"
College Athlete in Denial: "No way I lost. The coach who recruited me said I'm the best player ever!"
Pro Athlete in Denial: "No way I lost. My agent said I'm the best player ever!"
Stage 2: Anger
Description: The athlete experiences rage and jealousy over the outcome and lashes out.
Youth Athlete in Anger: "I'm going to quit!"
College Athlete in Anger: "I'm going to transfer!"
Pro Athlete in Anger: "I'm going to lose my endorsements!"
Video Greatest Baseball Analysis Ever
He also predicted perms would be popular past 1989.
Link "Star Wars" Characters and Their College Football Equivalents
Hey! Look! It's Florida offensive coordinator Charlie Weis!
Video CFL Player Runs Full-Speed into a Goalpost
Oh, Canada. That's why we don't put them there.
Column
Overheard ...
From a Coach: Issue #9
Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.
Before our last game of the season for freshman football, our coach gathered us around right before kickoff. With a straight face he told us, "Guys, it's time to rock out with your cocks out." We just stared at him for a long while and got blown out by thirty.
- Devin
During my sophomore year in high school, I was called up to Varsity football at the end of the season, and I will never forget what I heard. Our Defensive Coordinator was a good, Christian man, but had a bit of an anger problem. He constantly yelled, but never swore, which makes the story even better.
One of our starting linebackers was having a particularly bad practice. He was missing tackles, calling out the wrong formations, etc. Halfway through, our DC finally had it. After another blown coverage, he threw down his clipboard, got right in the linebacker's face, and screamed, "Taylor, you are worse than premature ejaculation!" Nobody had a clue how to respond to this.
- Matt
Video LSU's Keg Stand Grandma
She's geauxing to be the coolest lady at the retirement home.
