Picture Zdeno Chara Terrifies Children in a Pink Bunny Costume
In his defense, he'd terrify children no matter what he wore.
Video Today's Tebow Song: "We Didn't Stop Tim Tebow"
Half Tebow, half Dolphins misery, all awesome.
News Brian Scalabrine, Eddy Curry and Mike Bibby to Headline "Basketball Laugh Track World Tour"
Organized by Brian Scalabrine, Eddy Curry and Mike Bibby, the Basketball Laugh Track World Tour will stop in NBA D-League cities, as well as Kabul, Afghanistan, Libya, and the tiny European nation of Luxembourg.
"Hardcore basketball fans watch the NBA for more than just the stars," said Scalabrine at a press conference in Conference Room C at the Fort Wayne, Indiana airport Best Western. "They also watch to laugh at players like me and Eddy and Mike. Our ineptitude helps them relate to NBA players. We bring laughter to millions each winter."
Most tour stops will feature scrimmages between the LOLstars, which also include known NBA commodities Steve Novak, Kwame Brown and Sebastian Telfair, while other locations will pit the LOLstars against the Washington Generals or give fans in attendance a chance to beat them.
"I hope we only play half-court," said Curry. "What? They are full-court games? Ah, crap."
Column
Overheard ...
From a Coach: Issue #12
Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.
When I was in my 8th grade year of basketball we were playing our first game of the season. We weren't expected to be good (we ended the season in 2nd place however). We were getting killed and as we enter the locker room at halftime our assistant coach is yelling and screaming. He then goes on to shout that we have nine good players on this team and we should not be losing. (I guess he forgot about the tenth kid who was by far the worst player on our team.)
He then went on to call his own son a "pussy" and, as soon as the assistant coach stormed out, our head coach couldn't do anything but laugh. Best halftime speech of my life.
- Joe
My senior year of football my team was expected to be really good. For whatever reason, we got off to a bad start and entered our fifth game 2-2 and were losing at halftime by 10 points. During the halftime speech, our head coach told everyone to get quiet "because it's time for some soul searching". About 10 seconds into it, someone audibly farted. Without breaking stride, my coach said: "Well, at least someone on this team is busting their ass." Everyone broke up laughing, we won the game and ended up winning districts.
- Kyle
Link Albert Pujols Doesn't Seem Much Different Than Your Average St. Louis Resident
They have nice Best Buys in suburban Chicago, though, too.
Opinion 7 Lesser-Known World Series
World Series of Birding
What is it?: Held annually since 1984, contestants compete to identify the highest number of bird species.
Where in the world is it held?: Cape May, New Jersey
Fun Fact: The state bird of New Jersey is the Eastern Goldfinch and not the middle finger or even The Situation's penis.
World Series of Beer Pong
What is it?: The World Series of Beer Pong features more than 1,000 participants from — according to the tournament's website — "45 U.S. States and 5 Canadian Provinces" (Two countries? WHOA! That's as big as the baseball World Series!) competing for a $50,000 grand prize.
Where in the world is it held? Las Vegas
Fun Fact: Pabst Blue Ribbon is the official beer of the World Series of Beer Pong, which serves as great motivation to win the $50,000 grand prize so you never have to buy crap beer again.
World Series of Flip Cup
What is it?: Held since 2006, the World Series of Flip Cup provides another beer-centric World Series for those who don't compete in the World Series of Beer Pong or play for the Boston Red Sox.
Where in the world is it held? Location varies
Fun Fact: The WSOFC requires that "All participants must be 21 or older and have health insurance to play." Last one to not be rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning wins!
