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From Staff / November 30, 2011

Opinion Flowchart: Does Your Team Have a Shot at the BCS Title Game?

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Filed Under   NCAAF
November 29, 2011

Playlist November's 15 Funniest Sports Videos

Video: 1062 thumb Video: 1053 thumb Video: 1057 thumb Video: 1059 thumb
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Filed Under   NFL   NHL   Soccer
From Staff / November 29, 2011

Opinion NFL Postgame Quotes as Poetry

"Believe" by Tim Tebow

This is a special team,
a special team
when you have a bunch of guys
that when things aren't going good
we get closer instead of pulling apart.
The No. 1 reason we are like that
is because we believe in each other,
we believe

"Springboard" by Ron Rivera

This is something we can build off of,
use as a springboard as we go forward
It's not where you are now
it's where you're headed.

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Filed Under   NFL
November 29, 2011

Picture Louisiana: "LSU is the greatest team ever!"

I think we can all agree that the 2003 and 2007 LSU teams were huge crap heaps.

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Filed Under   NCAAF   LSU Tigers
November 29, 2011

Opinion Desperate Eagles to Supply Their Defensive Players with Pepper Spray

The Philadelphia Eagles entered the season with Super Bowl aspirations. At 4-7, those dreams are all but destroyed. Yet the proud franchise is not ready to go down without a fight.

"9-7 teams have made the playoffs before," said head coach Andy Reid. "Many of the teams ahead of us right now for the wildcard — the Bears, the Lions, the Giants — are struggling and could come back to us. And thanks to our new pepper spray-based defensive philosophy, we don't expect to lose again."

Despite bringing in high-priced talent in the offseason, Philadelphia has one of the most porous defenses in football.

"Should we have allocated some dollars in different areas? Maybe," says Reid. "But we still have money to spend, such as $719 I just spent to buy a case of police-grade pepper spray on the Internet. I bet it proves to be more effective than Nnamdi Asomugha."

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Filed Under   NFL   Philadelphia Eagles
November 29, 2011

Opinion The Muppets and Their Athlete Equivalents

Derek Jeter = Kermit the Frog

He's not the biggest, he's not the smallest, he's not the most talented, his glory days are long past and he's kind of weird looking. But he's the leader and he's loved above all others thanks to a special something you can't define. What is the elusive magic rainbow connection if not intangibles?

Ndamukong Suh = Miss Piggy

They're both huge, they both have narcissistic tendencies, they both let their emotions get the best of them and they're both prone to violence. Derek Jeter is lucky that Ndamukong Suh is not attracted to him.

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   misc
November 28, 2011

Video Jerome Simpson: Decent Receiver, Great Flopper

He went to Coastal Carolina, but he got an honorary degree from Duke.

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Filed Under   NFL   Cincinnati Bengals   Jerome Simpson
November 29, 2011

News NBA Cancels Season After Hearing that Steve Doesn't Care that the Lockout Is Over

News that the 2011-2012 NBA season would be played thanks to a surprise labor deal gave way to an announcement today by league commissioner David Stern that the season would indeed be cancelled.

"While everyone involved with the NBA and our millions of fans around the world were excited about the news, it turns out Steve thinks the NBA sucks and wishes the whole season would have been lost," said Stern. "So that obviously changes things. The season is off."

Steve, of course, works in your office and is of the opinion that the NBA is full of "greedy players and owners" who could "learn a thing or two about the real world by losing millions of dollars." He also strongly believes that the NBA game "sucks and no one tries and I never watch any of their games, except some of the playoffs."

All good points by Steve, which Stern acknowledged in his press conference.

"I said from Day 1 of the lockout that we wouldn't restart the season unless everyone in the world professed a love for the NBA," he said. "Based on Steve's comments, that obviously hasn't happened. So I must shutter the league, perhaps for good unless we can convince Steve to give us a shot."

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Filed Under   NBA
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Filed Under   NFL   San Diego Chargers   Nick Novak