Hello. May I speak to the man or woman of the house?
This is he.
Hi. This acting Penn State athletic director David Joyner and I'd like to talk to you about a great opportunity.
I don't know. Can you call back some other time? I'm getting ready for dinner.
I will only take a minute of your time. I promise.
Sure. Fine. Go ahead.
I am calling to offer you the position of head football coach at Penn State.
Hmmm. No thanks.
It's a very prestigious program.
I'm sure it is. I'm just not interested right now. I already have a job. How did you get my number?
We're just going through the phone book and calling every number.
Shouldn't you be contacting coaches? I'm not a coach.
We tried that. It didn't go very well, now we're expanding the opportunity to the general public. Can I tell you more about it? Our stadium seats nearly 110,000, we routinely make bowl games and we can pay your more than $1 million!
His throwing motion is wiggity wiggity wack.
2. Your head coach is undefeated. Because he is an interim coach and he's 0-0 for his career.
3. The majority of people at the game are wearing shoulder pads.
4. Most of the fans in the stands are wearing coats.
5. Several players violated team rules and were suspended not only for practice, but for the actual game.
6. The announcers spend the majority of the game talking about the players' NFL prospects and bowl games that are on later.
7. The announcers keep telling you that both teams are playing for "pride" and for "these seniors."
8. No one is chanting "S-E-C!"
Playlist The Greatest Sports Fails of 2011
Pretty sure that gets you thrown out of a Catholic college.
The pathetic performance calls into question Jong-un's ability to lead the Communist nation, which had been headed for 18 years by Jong-il and earned much pride over the seemingly impossible athletic exploits of their miniature dictator.
"I was very happy with my round," said Jong-un. "You always feel like you've left a few shots out there a putt or two here and there, a bad drive or something but that's the way golf is. A 64 is a good score."
But after signing his scorecard, a coup was attempted by one of Pyongyang National's maintenance workers.