Here's Beckham going ham on a ham sandwich. So hot. (Not the sandwich, though. Ham is a cold cut.)
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David Beckham and fire together. It doesn't get any hotter than that. If the flame had ignited his hair product, this would have been the hottest photo in world history!
Picture Baby Birdman Chris Andersen
He comes from a tough day care center.
"So, she might call me?" said a hungover Kane today before Chicago's morning skate. "And her name is Lady Byng? I couldn't remember who it was I was with at the bar last night. I thought it was like Britney or Brandi or something. All I knew was that she was hot and her tongue tasted like gin."
Kane took a drink from talking to throw up in his locker before continuing.
"Lady Byng. That sounds like some sort of royal name or something, right? Guys, I might be hooking up with a princess or some shit," he said, getting high-fives from his teammates. "Maybe she has a castle. I'd be set for life, bro."
Kane's moment of happiness was ruined, however, when a reporter informed him that the Lady Byng is a trophy given to the NHL player who most exhibits gentlemanly play.
He's like Mark Sanchez, but with royal blood.
Few of us ever play professional sports. A few more play in college. But most everyone played sports as a kid. And if it was Little League or biddy soccer, every team had the same seven kids.
#1 The Coach's Son
He might not be the most athletic kid on the team, or have the best stats (or any stats for that matter). But he makes up for it with smarts, hustle and determination. This, according to coach, is why he is the team's MVP this year. Now everyone give him a round of applause as he accepts his plaque.
Typical Position: Point guard, quarterback and shortstop. Whichever position is the most important for that sport, that's where he is, because this team cannot afford to have him playing anywhere else.
Where He Is Now: The heir to his dad's construction company, he's going to run it into bankruptcy within four months of taking over, yet still win Employee of the Month every time.
In real football, that's a 15-yard penalty for rapidly rubbing your grundle on a players face.
"We haven't lost in weeks," said head coach Mike D'Antoni. "And if you look at the Western Conference, we're in as good a shape as almost anyone. I'm not counting us out until the season is over."
The presumed Western Conference champion, the Oklahoma City Thunder, is on the brink of elimination thanks to Russell Westbrook's injury, the Spurs are as old as the Lakers, the Warriors are inexperienced and star guard Steph Curry is battling injury, and the Memphis Grizzlies are led by Pau Gasol's little brother.
"I like our position," said Lakers point guard Steve Nash. "I'm getting healthier every day and Kobe should be able to walk in a few weeks. We can do this."