#10 2006: The Bobcats select Adam Morrison with the 3rd overall pick in the draft, wisely bypassing as many as one million other people on the planet who would have been worse selections.
#9 2003 to 2009: Despite being Charlotte's most embarrassing sports team, the Bobcats successfully never employ Charlotte's most embarrassing athlete, Jake Delhomme.
#8 2011: The Bobcats trade for Byron Mullens. While Mullens is a worthless basketball player, the gawky dork is still quite entertaining to watch for those who enjoy mocking people.
#7 2012: While finishing the season with the worst winning percentage in NBA history at .106, Bobcats' team owner Michael Jordan probably had lots of good rounds on the golf course in 2012.
"I'm gonna fk you in the face!" Super pickup line there.
News Report: Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum Considering Signing with One Team in Disappointing Package Deal
"Their agents have already put out feelers with some teams that have cap space," said one general manager. "I laughed and hung up the phone. Well, first I laughed, then I said they could market themselves as The Faulty Towers, and then I hung up the phone. But I wouldn't be surprised if some of the more incompetent GMs take a look at them."
While both Howard and Bynum have enormous potential, it would be shocking if even one of the players gets close to reaching his ceiling. But Bynum says his days in the NBA are far from over.
"I want to be the next Shaq," he said. "The version of Shaq that was fat and only played half the year and didn't work on his game. He still made good money, right? Yeah, I want to be him. And I think I can do it. I'm in the worst shape of my life right now."
The balls don't get congratulated enough in baseball.
"We never planned to get married. I never planned to get married. I'm rich, famous and 23 years old. Why would I get married?" said Griffin. "We just did this to get free stuff from stupid fans by putting up an online registry. And it worked!"
"Fans are such morons!" said a cackling Griffin, while randomly turning on and off some 50 blenders he received from fans who ordered them off of his wedding registry. "And look at me now! No man has ever had so much loot from Bed Bath & Beyond. Life doesn't get better than this!"
In addition to the four or five dozen blenders "I lost count," said Griffin, "but I'll definitely be getting my blend on" Griffin got three Oneida Satin Sand Dune 45-Piece Flatware sets, giving him an impressive haul of 135 pieces of silverware.
"It's an embarrassment of silverware," said Griffin. "My teammates are going to be so jealous."
Her husband would deserve that if he played for the Cubs.