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April 24, 2013

Opinion The Draft Philosophies of 8 NFL Teams

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Load up on one position in the draft so you have depth, giving you the luxury of abusing your starter to the point of serious injury.

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The worst thing about rookies is their immaturity. So, when possible, draft players who are pushing 30.

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Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft
April 23, 2013

Picture Perfect Chicago Blackhawks Wedding

Too bad Jeff Tildethdoouspart is the minors right now.

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Filed Under   NHL   Chicago Blackhawks   Johnny Oduya
April 23, 2013

News Russell Westbrook Selects Stylish Speedo and Monocle Combo for Postgame Press Conference

Russell Westbrook Selects Stylish Speedo and Monocle Combo for Postgame Press Conference - Image 1
Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook says he has settled on outfit for his next postgame press conference, a matching Speedo and lensless monocle purchased from one of Oklahoma City's most fashionable boutiques.

"Damn. I look good," Westbrook said while modeling the look in a locker room mirror. "Guys, don't I look good? You all are jealous, right?"

Westbrook's questions were met mostly with mumbles. Several teammates quickly exited the locker room to save themselves from having to answer. Nick Collison hid in his locker.

"Russell is obviously a huge part of this team and a lot of our success depends on him playing well and staying confident," teammate Kevin Durant said later. "So none of us want to tell him that he looks ridiculous. We just try to avoid the conversation."

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April 23, 2013

Video Shirtless Man Records Awful Oklahoma City Thunder Song

Send them back to Seattle now, please.

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Filed Under   NBA   Oklahoma City Thunder
April 24, 2013

News Tyrann Mathieu Just Trying to Not Get Arrested for a Few More Days

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Tyrann Mathieu says he can't wait for the NFL Draft so he can begin his professional football career and also stop worrying so much about getting arrested.

"This has been the hardest few months of my life," said the former LSU defensive back. "Not getting arrested is exhausting. But if I can just make it through the weekend, I'll be the property of an NFL team and they'll pretty much be stuck with me."

Mathieu said he has kept himself on a sort of personal house arrest as the draft has approached, figuring it would be harder to get arrested if he stayed at home.

"But you don't realize how much trouble you can get in at your house," he said. "The Internet allows you to commit almost any crime from the comfort of your couch. Just today I ordered 300 pounds of weed from someone in Arizona. It's amazing. But I'm hoping nothing will be traced back to me until the draft is over."

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April 23, 2013

Opinion The 10 Least Prestigious Individual Awards in Sports

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#10 – Comeback Player of the Year Award

The NFL, Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour all name a Comeback Player of the Year. This would be a fine award if it was always given to a player returning from a serious injury or personal tragedy. But more often than not, the Comeback Player award is given to someone who simply sucked the previous year. All this award does is remind everyone how terrible you were.

Better Award Title: Wow You Really Blew Last Year Trophy

#9 – Most Improved Player Award

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The NBA's Most Improved Player Award is similar to the Comeback Player of the Year Award of the NFL, MLB and PGA, only you're completely disqualified if you've ever had a good season previously. Winning this award confirms that up until the most recent season, you were pretty much a bust.

Better Award Title: The Congrats on No Longer Sucking Award

#8 – NASCAR's Most Popular Driver Award

NASCAR's Most Popular Driver is determined by fan votes. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this award every year since 2003: nine consecutive years. Earnhardt, Jr. last won a race on June 15, 2008, and has never won a Sprint Cup. Even if another driver eventually wins this award, it's forever associated with failure.

Better Award Title: Dale Junior Cup or Congratulations On Being Loved By Moron NASCAR Fans Who Will Fall In Love With Whoever Is Marketed The Most Via Cheap Plastic Collectibles No Matter How Lousy Of A Driver He May Actually Be Trophy

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Filed Under   NBA   NFL   NCAAF   golf   NCAAB   NHL   Soccer
April 22, 2013

Video Mike Woodson Reacting to Stuff: 2012-2013

He's so smooth. Especially his face part.

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Filed Under   NBA   New York Knicks   Mike Woodson
April 22, 2013

Opinion The Cleveland Cavaliers Have a Compelling Sales Pitch to Phil Jackson

The Cleveland Cavaliers Have a Compelling Sales Pitch to Phil Jackson - Image 1
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