Load up on one position in the draft so you have depth, giving you the luxury of abusing your starter to the point of serious injury.
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The worst thing about rookies is their immaturity. So, when possible, draft players who are pushing 30.
Too bad Jeff Tildethdoouspart is the minors right now.
"Damn. I look good," Westbrook said while modeling the look in a locker room mirror. "Guys, don't I look good? You all are jealous, right?"
Westbrook's questions were met mostly with mumbles. Several teammates quickly exited the locker room to save themselves from having to answer. Nick Collison hid in his locker.
"Russell is obviously a huge part of this team and a lot of our success depends on him playing well and staying confident," teammate Kevin Durant said later. "So none of us want to tell him that he looks ridiculous. We just try to avoid the conversation."
Send them back to Seattle now, please.
"This has been the hardest few months of my life," said the former LSU defensive back. "Not getting arrested is exhausting. But if I can just make it through the weekend, I'll be the property of an NFL team and they'll pretty much be stuck with me."
Mathieu said he has kept himself on a sort of personal house arrest as the draft has approached, figuring it would be harder to get arrested if he stayed at home.
"But you don't realize how much trouble you can get in at your house," he said. "The Internet allows you to commit almost any crime from the comfort of your couch. Just today I ordered 300 pounds of weed from someone in Arizona. It's amazing. But I'm hoping nothing will be traced back to me until the draft is over."
#10 Comeback Player of the Year Award
The NFL, Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour all name a Comeback Player of the Year. This would be a fine award if it was always given to a player returning from a serious injury or personal tragedy. But more often than not, the Comeback Player award is given to someone who simply sucked the previous year. All this award does is remind everyone how terrible you were.
Better Award Title: Wow You Really Blew Last Year Trophy
#9 Most Improved Player Award
Better Award Title: The Congrats on No Longer Sucking Award
#8 NASCAR's Most Popular Driver Award
NASCAR's Most Popular Driver is determined by fan votes. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this award every year since 2003: nine consecutive years. Earnhardt, Jr. last won a race on June 15, 2008, and has never won a Sprint Cup. Even if another driver eventually wins this award, it's forever associated with failure.
Better Award Title: Dale Junior Cup or Congratulations On Being Loved By Moron NASCAR Fans Who Will Fall In Love With Whoever Is Marketed The Most Via Cheap Plastic Collectibles No Matter How Lousy Of A Driver He May Actually Be Trophy
He's so smooth. Especially his face part.