March 24, 2011 Column
Overheard ...
The Gym: Issue #11
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games.
My gym, like every gym I think, has a rule that requires you to keep your shirt on in the gym. A couple of meatheads were benching and there were some girls nearby so they decided to shed their shirts.
A few minutes later a gym worker, another girl, comes by and tells them to put their shirts back on. The one guy did right away while the other meathead goes: "Even me?" … and then flexes his pecs and winks. If there was a Douche Hall of Fame, this guy would get in on the first ballot.
- Luke
I work at a gym in Georgia. One day while I was working I heard what sounded like a terrified girl's scream coming from the men's side of the gym. Turns out that while one guy was loading weights on our leg squat machine (the plates sit on the machine horizontally), he dropped the weights on the rack and managed to get his dick stuck between two 45 pound plates and the nearest guy had to get the plates off of him. We now call him "Flathead."
- Drew
Opinion Transcript: Inside the "NAPA Know How" Ad Pitch Meeting
- NAPA CEO
I appreciate you coming all the way out here. We've never had a big city advertising agency, but we think it's time we do a campaign that gets us noticed.
- Ad Exec
Glad to hear it. We think we've got just the campaign for you. In fact, we're so confident that we have already gone ahead and shot the entire commercial.
The Ad Exec dims the boardroom lights and plays the "NAPA Know How" ad on a large, flatscreen television. Once the 30-second spot ends, the Ad Exec turns the lights back on.
- Ad Exec
Well, what did you think?
- NAPA CEO
I … I don't even know what to say. No, I do: I hated every second of it. I want to take one of those pistons he was holding and shove it directly into my ears, rupturing my eardrums and then continue pushing it all the way into my brain to destroy the memory I have of watching it.
- Ad Exec
Perfect! That is exactly what we were going for!
