May 27, 2011 Column
Tweet of the Week
Danny Granger Would be a Very LOLzy Prison Warden
From @Dgranger33 AKA Indiana Pacers forward Danny Granger
Versus CEO Mark Schmidt, from Chapter One: "The First Sports Network To Start on a Drunken Dare"
- - -
"No, we didn't have any big stars like Chris Berman or the gorilla mascot from the Phoenix Suns, but what we did have was a great deal of inexperience and a severe lack of professionalism. We literally learned to work the cameras as we went. We actually shot most of our footage with Mark's iPhone and used iMovie to put it all together. That's why there were so many text alert sounds during our Mountain West conference football coverage."
Versus Production Director and Part-Time Custodian Jonas Felt, from Chapter Three: "On The Shoulders of Midgets"
May 26, 2011 Column
The Game: Issue #10
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at a game? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about the gym.
I was at a Yankees game where CC Sabathia was pitching. He wasn't pitching well and so my friend and I were heckling him. Moments after I yelled 'YOU SUCK, CC!!", the hot girl in front of me turned around and asked: "Who's CC?" I told her he was the pitcher.
She turned back around and I read the back of her Jersey: "SABATHIA 52."
Last season me and a few buddies were at the St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs game in St. Louis. A couple from Chicago were sitting next to us. The girl was a typical hot blonde, fun to look at but extremely dumb.
The Cardinals have the Gateway Arch cut into the centerfield grass. While watching the game she loudly says: "Awww that's awesome they have a rainbow in their field!" Everyone around just sat there staring at her without saying a word.
Opinion What Pro Sport Should You Play?
#1 The Official Equipment Guy
You don't know exactly what his salary is, but it's apparently more than yours. Or, if he does make what you make, he is spending 90-percent of his income on softball equipment. He's got several top-of-the line bats, a brand new glove, two batting gloves, cleats, baseball pants, moisture-wicking performance apparel under his uniform, wrist bands and an expensive bag to keep it all in. Estimated retail price: way, way, way too much for a softball league that has a grand prize of a $14 plastic trophy.
It's all well and good, though, as long as this guy isn't control of any sort of budget at work. If he is, expect your company to go under by the end of the year, just after his $400,000 remodel of the reception area is completed.
#2 The Injury Machine
He has yet to make it through a single game without suffering a major injury. Sprained ankle, torn hamstring, broken finger. There was even that time he got attacked by a swarm of bees in center field. Cal Ripken played 2,632 consecutive games against the greatest competition in the world; this guy can't even make it through 7 innings against Davis Refrigeration.
And while his injuries hurt the performance of your softball team, it's even worse at work. Good luck impressing a prospective client when this guy hobbles into the meeting covered in open sores.
Updated again with more embarrassment!