1. Michael Jordan's NBA Executive Prank
Jordan the basketball player was not only regarded as his sport's greatest players, but also as one of its great minds. So it was assumed he would make a great team executive. Ha! That's where Michael Jordan the prankster stepped in.
First with the Wizards he drafted Kwame Brown No. 1 overall and made hilariously bad trades. Then he expanded his prank to Charlotte where he picked Adam Morrison and built a team that set an NBA record for the lowest winning percentage in history. Add all that to his Hitler mustache and ripped '90s jeans and Jordan the prankster is just as great as Jordan the basketball player!
2. Adidas' Camouflage and Neon Uniform Prank
So cruel. Yet so hilarious.
Atlanta Braves: Lots of Uptons.
Baltimore Orioles: Hoping for back-to-back fluke seasons.
Boston Red Sox: At least we're not the Yankees.
Chicago Cubs: Old Style beer, new style losing.
Chicago White Sox: We have Florida Gulf Coast alum Chris Sale!
Cincinnati Reds: So good we only need to use our best pitcher 60 innings a season.
Colorado Rockies: Todd Helton knew Peyton Manning in college, so that's cool, right?
Cleveland Indians: Something to watch if "Major League" isn't airing on basic cable.
Detroit Tigers: Making you feel like you have a pro athlete's body!
Houston Astros: Not gonna lie. We're gonna suck. Hard.
Kansas City Royals: Proudly featuring 2013 Team USA World Baseball Classic first baseman Eric Hosmer!
Los Angeles Angels: Let's hope money buys championships. Oh, shit. The Lakers.
1. Play the Name Game
Come up with a funny team name. Ideally this name will include a reference to something that's currently in the news but won't seem at all timely by the All-Star Break. May we suggest, "Dunk City's Harlem Shake"?
2. Pick Your Marks
Invite Yankees GM Brian Cashman to join your league. You need at least one easy mark to fleece in trades, and if he's dumb enough to willingly put Vernon Wells on his team, just think of what Cashman will do in fantasy. Trust the process here.
3. Embrace Stat Geeks
Hang out at a local tavern until an older fellow with a beard comes in for a tipple. Offer him 40 bucks to come to your draft as your assistant and introduce himself to people as Bill James, renowned baseball statistical guru. People will be terrified of you. Nobody knows what Bill James looks like, so who's to say he doesn't stink of cheap brandy and constantly scream about the metal plates in his head?
- This isn't funny. There are real people hurting. Like their dozen or so players on the disabled list. AHHHHHHahahahaha.
- I plan to laugh at them this season approximately 200 million times.
- The 2013 Yankees have a chance to be the most hilarious baseball team since the 2012 Red Sox.
- I'm a Yankees fan, so I don't find it all that funny. But I'm totally cool if A-Rod gets humiliated.
- Eh. I think it's funnier when they think they're good and then get crushed in the playoffs.