Opinion

Tip #1 – Don't get in the way of someone trying to dunk the basketball in the basket.

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Tip #2 – Don't be significantly smaller than the person attempting to dunk.

The sports world has many powerful figures. Roger Goodell. David Stern. Phil Knight. Scott Boras. But the powerful can't be powerful if there aren't nearby powerless to crush.

From more than 70,000 votes, here is who you determined to be the sports world's most powerless.

25. Jason Garrett

What's most powerful about him: Not constrained by having a soul.

What's least powerful about him: Has completely tarnished the value of an Ivy League education.

24. Athletes who don't take PEDs

What's most powerful about them: Have a clear conscience.

What's least powerful about them: Lose all the time.

23. Fantasy sports columnists

What's most powerful about them: Can spell "rotisserie" without looking it up.

What's least powerful about them: Receive noogies from baseball sabermetric nerds.

22. Ozzie Canseco

What's most powerful about him: Not Jose Canseco.

What's least powerful about him: Not Jose Canseco.

Exclusive transcripts of free agency discussions in front offices around the NFL.

New England Patriots

1. Bill Belichick

   I just got off the phone with Tom. He's really upset about Wes leaving.

2. Intern

   Uh-oh.

3. Bill Belichick

   Yeah, I've got to keep him happy. Ever since I forgot how to coach defense, he's all that's standing in between me and the unemployment line. Get me a list of all the available white receivers.

4. Intern

   Yes, sir.

5. [five minutes later]

6. Intern

   Here you go, Mr. Belichick.

7. Bill Belichick

   Whoa. There's one named "Danny?"

8. Intern

   Yes.

9. Bill Belichick

   And his last name is "Amendola?"

10. Intern

    Yes. So our fans will say "Amendoler."

11. Bill Belichick

    And he's definitely white?

12. Intern

    Yes, sir.

13. Bill Belichick

    Sign him immediately. Our fans will love him. How was he not on our team already?

14. Intern

    I don't know. Obvious oversight.

15. Bill Belichick

    I blame you. You're cut.

16. Intern

    I'm an unpaid intern.

17. Bill Belichick

    I'll re-sign you for half that.

18. Intern

    Umm … okay.

19. Bill Belichick

    Welcome back. Now go get me our new white hero.