Opinion The 25 Best Sports Nicknames of All-Time
#25 — Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown
Origin: Remember how your parents told you to be careful around power tools? They weren't kidding. When future MLB pitcher Brown was a young man he accidentally put his hand in his family farm's feed chopper. The chopper's blades cut off most of his index finger, and a later fall on the same hand permanently mangled the middle finger on his pitching hand.
His maimed fingers, though, turned out to be a blessing when they enabled him to put massive amounts of spin on his pitches. Hitters couldn't get balls in the air against Brown, and he won 239 games on his way to the Hall of Fame. So, the lesson here is clear: if your Major League dreams are looking improbable, try sticking your hand in a woodchipper. Can't hurt! (Outside of the excruciating pain.) This is the look you'll want to go for:
#24 — "The Flying Housewife" Fanny Blankers-Koen
Origin: The track events at the 1948 Summer Olympic Games in London got a bit more interesting when Dutch runner Fanny Blankers-Koen tied on her spikes. She was 30 years old, a mother of two children, and ready to kick some serious tail. Blankers-Koen ended up winning four gold medals at the games, which propelled her to international fame as the wife and mother who outran everyone else.
And while the picture of Fanny below may not suggest it, she was a confirmed MILTF. (A mom I'd like to do track and field with. Duh.)
Opinion Yankees Hilarity Meter: April 8, 2013
HIGH
The Yankees crushed the Indians today, dropping the Yankees Hilarity Meter from a VERY HIGH reading to HIGH. On the bright side, 35 year-old Travis Hafner had another good game, hitting a home run and driving in four runs, so expect the idiot Brian Cashman to sign him to a 4-year, $100 million deal any day now. Even with their season-high 2-game win streak, the Yankees are still only 3-4.
Oh, and the Yankees' payroll is more than $200 million.
Opinion Yankees Hilarity Meter: April 7, 2013
VERY HIGH
The Yankees managed to not get swept by the Tigers today and upped their record to 2-4 on the season. Their only other win of the season also prevented a sweep. It seems the greatest moments of the 2013 New York Yankees will be when they managed to not get swept. Exciting! But the positive Yankees news didn't stop there! Brett Gardner, Robinson Cano and Ichiro Suzuki all achieved a single hit today, and now they are all batting .111 or higher (but not higher than .160).
Oh, and the Yankees' payroll is more than $200 million.
Opinion Yankees Hilarity Meter: April 6, 2013
VERY HIGH
The Yankees got destroyed by the Tigers, 8-4, today to fall to 1-4 on the season. Starting pitcher/massive bust Phil Hughes got lit up for 4 runs and 8 hits in just 4 innings, and fellow massive bust Joba Chamberlain bookended the game by getting torched in the final frame. The Yankees got outhit, 17-6, and Robinson Cano — the only legitimate major league starter in their starting lineup — is now hitting .111 on the season. The loss keeps the Yankees mired in last place. And one more fun fact: their minus-16 run differential on the season is dead-last in Major League Baseball. Yes, worse than even the Astros and Marlins. Ha!
Oh, and the Yankees' payroll is more than $200 million.
