Opinion

Load up on one position in the draft so you have depth, giving you the luxury of abusing your starter to the point of serious injury.

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The worst thing about rookies is their immaturity. So, when possible, draft players who are pushing 30.

#10 – Comeback Player of the Year Award

The NFL, Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour all name a Comeback Player of the Year. This would be a fine award if it was always given to a player returning from a serious injury or personal tragedy. But more often than not, the Comeback Player award is given to someone who simply sucked the previous year. All this award does is remind everyone how terrible you were.

Better Award Title: Wow You Really Blew Last Year Trophy

#9 – Most Improved Player Award

The NBA's Most Improved Player Award is similar to the Comeback Player of the Year Award of the NFL, MLB and PGA, only you're completely disqualified if you've ever had a good season previously. Winning this award confirms that up until the most recent season, you were pretty much a bust.

Better Award Title: The Congrats on No Longer Sucking Award

#8 – NASCAR's Most Popular Driver Award

NASCAR's Most Popular Driver is determined by fan votes. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this award every year since 2003: nine consecutive years. Earnhardt, Jr. last won a race on June 15, 2008, and has never won a Sprint Cup. Even if another driver eventually wins this award, it's forever associated with failure.

Better Award Title: Dale Junior Cup or Congratulations On Being Loved By Moron NASCAR Fans Who Will Fall In Love With Whoever Is Marketed The Most Via Cheap Plastic Collectibles No Matter How Lousy Of A Driver He May Actually Be Trophy

Week 1

Chiefs at Jaguars

"Hey, what do you mean this is a bad game? We have Alex Smith and Andy Reid now!" – a poor Chiefs fan who sadly just doesn't know any better

Week 2

Jaguars at Raiders

Based on their first two opponents, it's not impossible that the Jacksonville Jaguars could start the season 2-0. It's also quite possible the Jacksonville Jaguars will finish the season 2-14. At best.

Week 3

Bills at Jets

It's the Kevin Kolb-David Garrard battle America wants. No, it's the Kevin Kolb-David Garrard battle America needs.

Deep down you're worried that if the Thunder don't win a title this year, they may only have 8-10 good opportunities left.

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You don't understand how people can think the Spurs are boring. Have they never seen a Gregg Popovich in-game interview?

Boxing has been plagued by scandal throughout its history.

But this may be the biggest boxing scandal of all-time. Little Mac's trainer, Doc Louis, tried to have him killed.

Here's the evidence.

The Opponents

Doc Louis regularly scheduled Little Mac to face fighters who dwarfed the young boxer. He paid no heed to established weight classes. In the above example, note that Little Mac's entire upper body was barely the size of one of Super Macho Man's pecs.

In fact, the only character in the game who was even close to Little Mac's size was Mario, the ref. And we all know that Mario possessed skills that would destroy a mere boxer.

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The Outfits

Pink? Really? An all-pink track suit? In Brooklyn in the late '80s? Brooklyn of the '80s wasn't exactly as enlightened as it is today.

The only explanation is that Doc Louis was hoping Mac would get jumped and beaten.

Wrigley Field

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