Most professional athletes look the part. Some look like everyday schlubs. Now you can determine the schlubiest of the bunch.
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It's Tracy McGrady's time.
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In case you wanted a rematch of that Spurs-Cavs 2007 Finals.
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Watch from home like Stephen Jackson!
This is Dick Enberg. He is a 78 year-old married man and the voice of the San Diego Padres.
His signature catchphrase used to be "Oh, my!" That is no longer his signature catchphrase.
Dwight Howard Basketball ProCamp
If you want to learn how to act like a true professional, then there's no better person to learn from than Dwight Howard! Granted, he cancelled his appearance at his 2012 camp, but who doesn't no-show at their own summer camp from time to time? This year's camp is in Los Angeles, so disgruntled Lakers fans grades K-to-12 can show up to boo Howard to his face for just $249! (Again, only if Howard bothers to show up.)
#1 The Official Equipment Guy
You don't know exactly what his salary is, but it's apparently more than yours. Or, if he does make what you make, he is spending 90-percent of his income on softball equipment. He's got several top-of-the line bats, a brand new glove, two batting gloves, cleats, baseball pants, moisture-wicking performance apparel under his uniform, wrist bands and an expensive bag to keep it all in. Estimated retail price: way, way, way too much for a softball league that has a grand prize of a $14 plastic trophy.
It's all well and good, though, as long as this guy isn't control of any sort of budget at work. If he is, expect your company to go under by the end of the year, just after his $400,000 remodel of the reception area is completed.
#2 The Injury Machine
He has yet to make it through a single game without suffering a major injury. Sprained ankle, torn hamstring, broken finger. There was even that time he got attacked by a swarm of bees in center field. Cal Ripken played 2,632 consecutive games against the greatest competition in the world; this guy can't even make it through 7 innings against Davis Refrigeration.
And while his injuries hurt the performance of your softball team, it's even worse at work. Good luck impressing a prospective client when this guy hobbles into the meeting covered in open sores.
Just when everyone thought the Yankees would still be able to make the playoffs with their craptastic roster of cast-offs and former stars, they lost four in a row to the historic baseball laughingstock that is the crosstown New York Mets. The Yankees have now lost five in a row and seven of nine to fall out of first place and it's not as though regulars such as Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay are going to improve as the season goes along.
Oh, and the Yankees' payroll is more than $200 million.