Opinion

(Page 120)
From DJ Gallo / April 13, 2012

Opinion Other Baseball Sex Terms

Everyone knows about first base, second base, third base and home. But there are many other ways to reach base in baseball, all of which have sex equivalents.

Working the count — Here you bypass less desirable options earlier in the night in hopes one that's perfect will be available later.

Sacrifice bunt — With a sacrifice bunt you move your partner along, sacrificing your own gratification, while hoping that he or she will recognize you're a good teammate and will return the favor sometime later.

Fielder's choice — Your friend just got on base, but now he's out because the girl he's with decides she wants you on base instead. And no one is really happy. He's out, her reputation is ruined and you're getting sloppy seconds.

Double steal — Looking to score quickly, you suddenly try to advance to second and third base at once with no warning.

Hit by pitch — You don't even know if you want to get to first base with this person. But your safety is at risk if you say no. Many innings that include hit-by-pitches also have unearned runs (AKA baseball date rape).

Bases on balls — It's the same as getting to first base, but much less gratifying. It's getting a curiously wet kiss from a sort of MILFy aunt at your family reunion. This can also refer to a VERY curious wet kiss from a sort of MILFy aunt at your family reunion when said kiss is placed on your balls.

Defensive indifference — Here you make it to second or third because your partner is too drunk to care or just feels sorry for you and wants to end this as quickly as possible. Defensive indifference is best exhibited by prostitutes.

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October 15, 2010 Column Handicapper
Week 6

Handicapper runs every Friday on SportsPickle during the NFL season.

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1:00 p.m. ET

Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-14)

Ben Roethlisberger wore a pink towel and pink shoes at Steelers practice all week in recognition of breast cancer awareness month.

Of course, a lot of people laughed it off as a transparent ploy to make people think he respects women. But he's put himself in the position where it's damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Make gestures like that and people think they're insincere. Don't make gestures like that and people think you're the same jerk.

I, for one, believe his sincerity.

Because after practice, when the cameras were gone, I spotted him outside the Steelers' South Side facility holding up this sign:

He's good people.

My pick: Pittsburgh

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Filed Under   NFL   Handicapper
October 15, 2010

Opinion Suggested College GameDay Sign of the Week

ESPN's College GameDay is in Madison, Wisconsin this week for Wisconsin vs. Ohio State.

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Offensive Linemen Love Latin Dance Fitness Crazes

From @toddherremans AKA Philadelphia Eagles guard Todd Herremans …

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