Opinion

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From Staff / July 12, 2012

Opinion The 15 Most Ridiculous Sports Gadgets

#1 — The Potty Putter

Forget reading the paper or gathering your thoughts; the time you spend on the toilet gives golfers a valuable opportunity to work on their putting. The Potty Putter comes with its own putting surface, cup, and toilet-sized putter to let lavatory linksmen perfect their putts while atop the throne. (Provided they really, really struggle with two-foot gimme putts.)

The only problem here is that you probably won't be able to sit on a toilet with your pants around your ankles and use a miniature putter when you're on an actual green, but nobody said making the Ryder Cup team was going to be easy. Lugging a toilet for 18 holes seems like a small price to pay to curb all those double bogeys.

#2 — Jumpsoles

Jumpsoles bill themselves as "the world's most popular tool for increasing your vertical jump," and they even guarantee an increase of 5-10 inches in your vertical leaping abilities. Of course, that will still leave you 70 to 80 inches short of what you'll need to jump over the people who will want to kick your ass when they see you wearing them.

You see, Jumpsoles shift your body weight onto your calves while conveniently also making you look like an idiot with giant, mutant shoes.

Don't take our word for it, though. Check out this commercial. Who needs Kobe Bryant jumping over an Aston Martin when you can have some random kid bounding over a 1999 Honda Accord?

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Filed Under   NBA   golf   misc   NHL   weightlifting   exercising
October 19, 2010

Opinion 9 Classic Photos of Your NLCS Competitor Philadelphia Phillies

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Filed Under   MLB   Philadelphia Phillies
From DJ Gallo / April 13, 2012

Opinion Other Baseball Sex Terms

Everyone knows about first base, second base, third base and home. But there are many other ways to reach base in baseball, all of which have sex equivalents.

Working the count — Here you bypass less desirable options earlier in the night in hopes one that's perfect will be available later.

Sacrifice bunt — With a sacrifice bunt you move your partner along, sacrificing your own gratification, while hoping that he or she will recognize you're a good teammate and will return the favor sometime later.

Fielder's choice — Your friend just got on base, but now he's out because the girl he's with decides she wants you on base instead. And no one is really happy. He's out, her reputation is ruined and you're getting sloppy seconds.

Double steal — Looking to score quickly, you suddenly try to advance to second and third base at once with no warning.

Hit by pitch — You don't even know if you want to get to first base with this person. But your safety is at risk if you say no. Many innings that include hit-by-pitches also have unearned runs (AKA baseball date rape).

Bases on balls — It's the same as getting to first base, but much less gratifying. It's getting a curiously wet kiss from a sort of MILFy aunt at your family reunion. This can also refer to a VERY curious wet kiss from a sort of MILFy aunt at your family reunion when said kiss is placed on your balls.

Defensive indifference — Here you make it to second or third because your partner is too drunk to care or just feels sorry for you and wants to end this as quickly as possible. Defensive indifference is best exhibited by prostitutes.

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Filed Under   MLB

Poll Should Wade Phillips be fired?

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Filed Under   NFL   Dallas Cowboys   Wade Phillips
October 15, 2010

Opinion 6 More Historic Baseball Facial Hair Owners

Part 1 HERE.

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October 15, 2010 Column Handicapper
Week 6

Handicapper runs every Friday on SportsPickle during the NFL season.

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1:00 p.m. ET

Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-14)

Ben Roethlisberger wore a pink towel and pink shoes at Steelers practice all week in recognition of breast cancer awareness month.

Of course, a lot of people laughed it off as a transparent ploy to make people think he respects women. But he's put himself in the position where it's damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Make gestures like that and people think they're insincere. Don't make gestures like that and people think you're the same jerk.

I, for one, believe his sincerity.

Because after practice, when the cameras were gone, I spotted him outside the Steelers' South Side facility holding up this sign:

He's good people.

My pick: Pittsburgh

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Filed Under   NFL   Handicapper
October 15, 2010

Opinion Suggested College GameDay Sign of the Week

ESPN's College GameDay is in Madison, Wisconsin this week for Wisconsin vs. Ohio State.

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October 15, 2010 Column Tweet of the Week
Offensive Linemen Love Latin Dance Fitness Crazes

From @toddherremans AKA Philadelphia Eagles guard Todd Herremans …

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October 14, 2010

Opinion Analyzing the new Ole Miss Rebel Black Bear mascot

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Filed Under   NCAAF   NCAAB   Ole Miss Rebels
October 13, 2010

Opinion Flowchart: Do You Have An Unscrupulous Sports Agent?

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Filed Under   NCAAF   NCAAB   sports business