"I decided on this school because academics are very important to me."
Translation: "The head coach and the program's PR director helped me write this."
- – - – -
"I believe that playing here will give me the best shot at achieving my dreams of playing in the NFL."
Translation: "I have no intention of opening even one book while I'm in college."
- – - – -
"I picked this school because they promised me that I would have an opportunity to play as a freshman.
Translation: "This team really sucked ass last year."
- – - – -
Translation: "This team really sucked ass for the last several years."
- – - – -
"I wanted to go someplace that my family could see me play."
Translation: "Coach promised he would get my mom a job."
- – - – -
"I really liked the atmosphere on campus and everyone made me feel like part of the team."
Translation: "I had a three-way the night of my official visit."
- – - – -
"Coach kept recruiting me even when I went through some hard times."
Translation: "I have an extensive criminal record that turned many programs off."
- – - – -
"I am hoping to enroll early so I can take part in spring practices."
Translation: "I will enroll early if and when the check from that booster clears. Not a day before."
- – - – -
"I really like the system they run here."
Translation: "Everyone on the team has Escalades and jewelry and cash, yet they haven't been hit with one NCAA violation."
- – - – -
"I felt Penn State was the best fit for me."
Translation: "Penn State was the only BCS conference program that recruited me."
- – - – -
"I am excited to play football for Maryland."
Translation: "I've always wanted to be a clown and their uniforms give me that opportunity."
- – - – -
"I want to compete for a national championship."
Translation: "I really only considered SEC teams."
- – - – -
