BIO: Credited along with Eddie Curry and Tim Tebow as proof that being borderline retarded doesn't mean you can't play sports. And, thanks to him, any kid in your dorm hall rec center who publicly embarrasses you in ping pong won't go another day without an embarrassing nickname.
Helped break the Watergate scandal, saved his commanding officer's life in Vietnam, ran a billion dollar shrimp company, married way out of his league, and yet his most remarkable accomplishment still remains being a successful white kick returner.
Real life resemblance: Derrick Rose.
BIO: Considered an inspiration to every Italian-American who dreamed of one day getting the chance to beat up a black guy. His most memorable victories came against Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago.
Aside from witnessing his ex-girlfriend make out with Flava Flav in a hot tub on VH1, Drago says his loss to Balboa was his most demoralizing defeat.
Balboa recently retired from boxing due to health issues stemming from a life-threatening gastroenterological disorder which leads to urination of lightning and defecation of thunder.
Real life resemblance: Rudy.
BIO: A dominant boxer, Fitzgerald was nicknamed "mo cuishle" by her trainer, who told her it means "my darling, and my blood" in Irish Gaelic. In reality the phrase means "Hey, this curmudgeon wants us to teach him a phrase, let's screw with him."
She was paralyzed from the neck down after receiving a cheap shot from her opponent, a German prostitute, ruining much of the goodwill Katarina Witt had built over the years for German prostitutes. Fitzgerald died tragically after her trainer saw "Pulp Fiction" for the first time and thought it'd be fun to inject someone with adrenaline. Although there are reports she asked for death, likely while watching an early cut of Morgan Freeman's "Invictus".
Real life resemblance: Leila Ali? Literally the only female boxer I've ever heard of.
BIO: Studebaker's legend grew as his green skin led everyone to believe he was playing every game with the flu. He was nicknamed Chalky after his grandfather, a known crackhead. Constant pressure from his father to live up to his brother's accomplishments caused his infamous mental breakdown, leading to the Bluffington Massacre.
Real life resemblance: Todd Marinovich
BIO: Lists negotiating NAFTA as his second greatest achievement behind hitting three consecutive full court jumpshots in Vlade Divac's grill.
Being featured as unlockable NBA Jam character is actually just one of like 50 similarities between him and DJ Jazzy Jeff.
The Monica Lewinsky scandal broke after a staffer heard Clinton yelling "boomshakalaka" and entered Oval Office to investigate.
Real life resemblance: don'tsaybillclintondontsaybillclintondontsaybillclinton…uhhh… whatever: Ray Allen.
