BIO:A star in wrestling, basketball, football, swimming and, track, Slater persevered in the face of simple mathematics by playing 5 sports in 3 seasons. As well as simple logic: no way anyone could maintain hair like that through the rigors of chlorine, wrestling headgear and a football helmet.
His only wrestling loss in high school occurred when he joined a match halfway through, replacing Samuel Powers, who was not even an official member of the Bayside wrestling team. Slater was disqualified after it was discovered that there were, like, 15 things wrong with this.
Albert Slater is seen as an inspiration to all Hispanics with unbelievably white names.
Real life resemblance: Danny Ainge. But whiter.
BIO:The first openly Jewish hockey goalie in the history of the sport, Greg Goldberg is proof that if your character is hilarious enough, he can stay on the ice even though it's pretty obvious the team will lose because of him.
He is the inventor of the "Goldberg Dive", where the goaltender dives, in slow motion, in front of the net to save the puck. To date, "The Goldberg Dive" has saved exactly 0 shots.
Goldberg maintains to this day that the only reason he let Julie "The Cat" Gaffney play net against Gunnar Stahl was because she promised him an HJ afterwards. And for this reason he gets a Hall nod.
Real life resemblance: 2009-10 version of Boston Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas.
BIO: Rowengartner was signed by the Chicago Cubs in 1994 even though he wasn't even close to being old enough for the draft or free agency. But no one seemed to notice or care, as Bud Selig is apparently incompetent even in movies. Rowengartner went on to dominate National League hitters, although his powerful arm caused him to miss three weeks of the seasonafter nearly ripping his penis off while masturbating for the first time.
He re-injured his arm late in the season, but used a "lob ball" pitch to strike out the final batter to win the NL pennant. Rowengartner started Game 3 of the World Series and proceeded to give up 17 consecutive home runs. He was booed mercilessly and never showed his face in Chicago again.
Real life resemblance: Wait, so he injured his arm and became a great pitcher for the Cubs? Let's say bizarro Kerry Wood/Mark Prior.
BIO:Led Hickory High to the Indiana State championship with a remarkable 100% shooting percentage for the season. Chitwood had a 100% shooting percentage in every area of his life, as he proceeded to father 15 children by the time he was 19 years old, including three by Myra Fleener. So hot.
Today owns and operates Jimmy Chitwood's Slow-Motion Picket Fence Manufacturing Company, which makes and installs picket fences in four times the time it would take someone at normal speed.
Real life resemblance: Every guy in the over-40 rec league at your gym.
BIO: Air Bud has been described as "the Jackie Robinson of dogs" by people who are racially insensitive and/or play basketball like Jimmy Chitwood.
He joins AC Slater as the only 5-sport athletes in the Hall Of Fame to know what their own testicles taste like. In 1999, Air Bud was put down after being arrested on suspicions of fixing the city championship in exchange for a belly rub.
Real life resemblance: Post-shower AJ Hawk.
