1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.
1 In those days the athletic director issued a decree that the coach must start winning and soon. 2 (This was the first such demand since he was hired to replace the AD who had hired the coach.) 3 And everyone went to message boards to spread rumors.
4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
4 So the coach went up from the football office on campus in the middle of the state to the high school of David, because he had a good relationship with the head coach of the team there, David. 5 He went there to talk with the Mary, whose son played for the school and was a very athletic child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the boy to play, 7 and she cheered him on, her son. And she stressed to the coach that they had no clothes, and that they were going to get evicted and there was no room for them at the inn.
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
8 And there were boosters living in the towns nearby, keeping watch over recruits on Friday nights. 9 A friend of the coach appeared to them, and the potential glory of the program shone around them, yet they were terrified of recruiting violations. 10 But the friend of the coach said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the fans. 11 Today in the school of David a Savior has been found; he is our program's Messiah. 12 This will be a message to you: Get his mother a job and a house and act as their manager."
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
13 Suddenly a great company offered her a job with benefits, and she began praising God and saying,
14 "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."
14 "Glory to your program in the highest, and on your campus shall my son's talents rest."
15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
15 When the boosters had secured the commitment and gone into hiding, the fans said to one another, "Let's go to the stadium and see this player that has arrived, which the YouTube and recruiting websites have told us about."
16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.
16 So they hurried off and saw Mary and the coach, and the player, who was running into the end zone. 17 When they had seen him, they spread word concerning what had been told them about this recruit, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the player could do and he won the Heisman.