Caught on Tape: NFL GMs and Coaches Discussing Free Agency

Exclusive transcripts of free agency discussions in front offices around the NFL.

New England Patriots

1. Bill Belichick

   I just got off the phone with Tom. He's really upset about Wes leaving.

2. Intern

   Uh-oh.

3. Bill Belichick

   Yeah, I've got to keep him happy. Ever since I forgot how to coach defense, he's all that's standing in between me and the unemployment line. Get me a list of all the available white receivers.

4. Intern

   Yes, sir.

5. [five minutes later]

6. Intern

   Here you go, Mr. Belichick.

7. Bill Belichick

   Whoa. There's one named "Danny?"

8. Intern

   Yes.

9. Bill Belichick

   And his last name is "Amendola?"

10. Intern

    Yes. So our fans will say "Amendoler."

11. Bill Belichick

    And he's definitely white?

12. Intern

    Yes, sir.

13. Bill Belichick

    Sign him immediately. Our fans will love him. How was he not on our team already?

14. Intern

    I don't know. Obvious oversight.

15. Bill Belichick

    I blame you. You're cut.

16. Intern

    I'm an unpaid intern.

17. Bill Belichick

    I'll re-sign you for half that.

18. Intern

    Umm … okay.

19. Bill Belichick

    Welcome back. Now go get me our new white hero.

Baltimore Ravens

1. John Harbaugh

   What's today's damage?

2. Ozzie Newsome

   Do you want the good news first or the bad news?

3. John Harbaugh

   Let's end on a high note. Give me the bad news first.

4. Ozzie Newsome

   We need a starting center, a starting receiver, three starting linebackers, and at least one starting safety, but Ed Reed is probably leaving, so probably two starting safeties.

5. John Harbaugh

   My god. And the good news?

6. Ozzie Newsome

   Hmm.

7. John Harbaugh

   Nothing?

8. Ozzie Newsome

   Well, you know how you were upset that your brother lost the Super Bowl?

9. John Harbaugh

   Yes.

10. Ozzie Newsome

    He got a really good receiver for nothing more than a 6th round draft pick, so he'll have another shot at the Super Bowl next year.

11. John Harbaugh

    Oh, wow! Good for him! Who'd they get?

12. Ozzie Newsome

    It, uh … it doesn't matter. Just be happy for your brother.

New York Jets

1. John Idzik

   What do you want, Rex?

2. Rex Ryan

   I don't mean to interrupt you, Mr. GM, sir, I just wanted to see how things are going.

3. John Idzik

   You don't need to call me "Mr. GM, sir." My name is John.

4. Rex Ryan

   I'm just trying to be respectful as possible in hopes you don't fire me this year.

5. John Idzik

   Thanks, but I'm still probably going to fire you.

6. Rex Ryan

   Okay. Understood. So how are we doing?

7. John Idzik

   We signed David Garrard.

8. Rex Ryan

   He's … a quarterback, I guess. Yeah. I saw the Cardinals got Drew Stanton.

9. John Idzik

   Yeah, we keep getting in bidding wars with them. Every time I call the agents for Ryan Fitzpatrick or Brady Quinn or Matt Cassel or Matt Leinart or JaMarcus Russell they say they're also talking to the Cardinals. They're driving the price up. It's a sellers' market this year for shitty quarterbacks.

10. Rex Ryan

    What if we got a good quarterback?

11. John Idzik

    That would be ideal, but there really aren't any available.

12. Rex Ryan

    Oh.

13. John Idzik

    Plus, we'll lose a lot with a shitty quarterback, making it easier to fire you at the end of the season.

14. Rex Ryan

    Oh.

15. John Idzik

    Well, have a nice day.

16. Rex Ryan

    You, too, Mr. General Manager, sir.

San Diego Chargers

1. Mike McCoy

   Hey, Tom. How are things going?

2. Tom Telesco

   Well, I'm not A.J. Smith and you're not Norv Turner.

3. Mike McCoy

   So we could be doing worse, huh?

4. Tom Telesco

   You got it.

San Francisco 49ers

1. Secretary

   Mr. Harbaugh, it's your brother John on the phone. He's crying again.

2. Jim Harbaugh

   Tell him I said "Suck it" and then hang up.

3. Secretary

   Yes, Mr. Harbaugh.