Western Conference
Dallas Mavericks: You plan to teach your kids to shoot like Shawn Marion.
Denver Nuggets: You are psyched about all of the free agents Colorado's marijuana law will bring in.
Golden State Warriors: You've stopped washing your Chris Mullin jersey after you wear it because it's going to fall apart.
Houston Rockets: Despite everything you said last February, you no longer believe that Jeremy Lin is overrated and overexposed.
Los Angeles Clippers: A a kid who was a Lakers fan bullied you in elementary school.
Los Angeles Lakers: You don't know why everyone hates you, but you assume it's because they're jealous of your favorite basketball team and how awesome that makes you.
Memphis Grizzlies: You consider yourself an expert on U.S. foreign policy with Iran because Hamed Haddadi plays 10 minutes a night.
Minnesota Timberwolves: You will never do pushups on your knuckles.
New Orleans Hornets: You hate David Stern, but not as much as you hate Roger Goodell.
Oklahoma City Thunder: You instantly shut the TV off when Houston Rockets highlights come on.
Phoenix Suns: You don't think it means anything that you've had sexual dreams about Shannon Brown. He has nice eyes and his name is Shannon. What?
Portland Trail Blazers: You would consider driving a non-hybrid car for a day if it meant the Trail Blazers won the NBA Finals.
Sacramento Kings: You are kind of glad that Jimmer Fredette isn't any good in the NBA so you don't feel tempted to by his Spalding basketball shoes.
San Antonio Spurs: You think old man smell smells like success.
Utah Jazz: You have never heard of Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, John Coltrane or Miles Davis. But you have heard of Kenny G.
