Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia: Jaeger
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina: Augusta National
Nick Saban, Alabama: Disgust
Brian Kelly, Notre Dame: Relevance
Gary Pinkel, Missouri: SEC!
Charlie Weis, Kansas: Charlie Weis
Chip Kelly, Oregon: Nike
Lane Kiffin, USC: USC
Urban Meyer, Ohio State: MY FAMILY!
Les Miles, LSU: Anything as long as it's not Jarrett Lee
David Cutliffe, Duke: Basketball
Derek Dooley, Tennessee: My Mom
Todd Graham, Arizona State: Dream Jobs!!!
Jim Mora, UCLA: Coaching at a murder-free school
Bill O'Brien, Penn State: Are you sure I'm allowed to vote?
Lane Kiffin, USC: I quit
