10. Tug of War
There's no better way to determine strength and/or pull someone into a pit of mud.
9. Kickball
First, we must learn how to say "No spinners!" in all of the world's major languages.
8. Softball
Jennie Finch on the women's side and fat, drunk guys with mustaches on the men's side. There is nothing to not like.
7. UFC
It's time to kick people in the neck for our country!
6. Frisbee
Frisbee Golf, Frisbee Baseball … there are all kinds of Frisbee forms of sports the IOC doesn't like.
5. Beer Pong
Ping pong is an Olympic sport, so if we're allowing absurd non-sports into the Games, let's at least get drunk doing it.
4. Lacrosse
It's time the IOC stops discriminating against dudes with names like Baxter and Caldwell.
3. American Football
There have to be enough countries that play this to give out three medals, right? Maybe? United States, Canada and … the South?
2. Baseball
This is no longer an Olympic sport because the IOC likes to discriminate against Caribbean countries. Pass it on.
1. Dodgeball
It's time to allow schoolyard bullies to pursue their dreams.
