Barbers in Minnesota must be broke.
The sports world has many powerful figures. Roger Goodell. David Stern. Phil Knight. Scott Boras. But the powerful can't be powerful if there aren't nearby powerless to crush.
From more than 70,000 votes, here is who you determined to be the sports world's most powerless.
25. Jason Garrett
What's most powerful about him: Not constrained by having a soul.
What's least powerful about him: Has completely tarnished the value of an Ivy League education.
24. Athletes who don't take PEDs
What's most powerful about them: Have a clear conscience.
What's least powerful about them: Lose all the time.
23. Fantasy sports columnists
What's most powerful about them: Can spell "rotisserie" without looking it up.
What's least powerful about them: Receive noogies from baseball sabermetric nerds.
22. Ozzie Canseco
What's most powerful about him: Not Jose Canseco.
What's least powerful about him: Not Jose Canseco.
Good teams only get drunk OR high. Not drunk AND high.
Sucking when it's not the time to suck: The story of the New York Rangers.
All of the fans were executed while leaving the arena.
That's not the textbook way to hold a hockey stick.
Tampa sports teams struggle to sell tickets? Huh.
"Two minutes for beating the hell out of me."
10. The Blackhawks barely beat anyone
Chicago's 21-0-3 record is all smoke and mirrors. They only have a plus-32 goal differential on the season. Their last 10 wins have come by just an average of 1.3 goals per game. Compare that to a quality team like the Boston Bruins. Boston's last six wins have been by an average of 2.0 goals per game. That's beating a team. The Blackhawks are just barely slipping by.
9. The Blackhawks benefit by getting all the calls
Chicago has spent 153 minutes and 9 seconds on the power play so far this season. That's more than 2.5 hours. You could watch all of "Lincoln" and three-plus minutes of previews in the amount of time Chicago has had a man-advantage this season. It's pretty easy to win when the refs are in your pocket.
8. The Blackhawks don't even have a No. 1 goalie
Ray Emery? Corey Crawford? Good luck with that. Not long ago, Emery couldn't even keep an NHL roster spot. The duo might appear to be doing okay for now, but a corpse can prevent a goal, too, if the shooter shoots it right into the body.
7. The Blackhawks don't have a single player in the Top 10 in the NHL in scoring
Oh, lookie there.
So, to recap: Garbage goalies and no skaters who can put the puck in the net with any regularity. Yeah, this team is great.
The sports world has many powerful figures. Roger Goodell. David Stern. Phil Knight. Scott Boras. But the powerful can't be powerful if there aren't nearby powerless to crush. It's time to determine the most powerless figure in sports.